A Torn Rose petal and Three Broken Hearts
by Blankerts
Summary: The Metacrisis Doctor and Rose went to a new universe for their own good, however all is not as it seems in this universe. It seems the Time Vortex doesn't like the two travelers and is slowly killing them. Meanwhile the Doctor is getting images from a telepathic field Rose sent out, what was the metacrisis doing holding a knife? Why was Rose covered in Blood?
1. She's Hurting Behind the Door you Locked

**PLEASE READ- This is a nonlinear chapter and an AU story**

The next chapter will be linear and should begin to clear up any confusing timelines, so hang in there! Also this chapter turned out to be shorter than I wanted :/ I don't know this was the most I could do without giving away too much of the story in this format. Anyways enjoy!

* * *

 _Her hair fell gently over her eyes and across her face. It stuck to her lip gloss as two parted lips exhaled in fear. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and reflected in her whiskey colored eyes. Her heart slammed inside of her chest at an alarming rate, reminding her of her inevitable ability to die. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to think, however the plastic mannequins marched directly towards her regardless of her yelling at them to stop. But then he was there, a man in a dirty leather coat with big ears grabbed her hand and whispered one word to her. That was all it took, just one word._

" _Run."_

It had been a very long time since her pink hoodie and bellbottom jeans ran alongside the Doctor. It had been a very long time since she had brushed up against his leather jacket and brown sweater in an attempt to save her life. It had just been a long time, or maybe it hadn't. She wasn't very sure how time proceeded where she was. She wasn't sure how anything proceeded here, it was one of those strange factors you never account for when contemplating oblivion in it's purest form. She didn't know where she was or how she got there, all she knew was that he was gone. He was gone in a puddle of blood that left her with a note saying she should go too. Her head began to scream in pain at the memory, and she was bathed in a gold light. Suddenly she wasn't very keen on remaining conscious, it was a welcomed feeling as a haze fell over her mind and she slipped away. Slipped into a gentle song that lifted her up with the strands of golden force, if only for an instant or the length of an eternity, before dropping her into one particular strand.

* * *

He didn't know what in particular he was drinking, but it helped him push away those awful memories. They flashed behind his eyes as an unending montage of _her_. Her blonde hair flying across her face in the wind as they walked over the frozen waves on a planet that he had seen a dozen times, but never really looked at until he was with her. That was just how she was he assumed, she took anything that you were bored of or didn't care for and made it special and exciting again. She just made everything better, but she was gone now. Locked behind some stupid wall that he just wanted to rip down, not to say that he didn't put at least one hole in it when it had closed her out of his universe. No, not his universe, their universe. The one that they had travelled together, hand in hand. He indulged himself in the memory of her. Thick lips and kind eyes, a big heart and unending forgiveness. He looked at his hands, which shook back and forth, before making the risky decision to go to her room. He knew that it would just make everything hurt more, but the alcohol fogged his rationality and wiped it away like condensation on a cold window.

"TARDIS! Please just.. I jus.. Ya know? I jus.." He sobbed and dropped to his knees before letting out an agonizing scream. "Please!" He yelled at the console. The telepathic ship sang softly back to him in the corner of his mind. She guided him to his destination and worked on consoling him as he grieved. He walked to the door that lead to his room, which had been provided by the TARDIS, in just a few short steps. Then he walked about two meters further and stared at a white door that had four simple black letters that were about equal to the height of his nose.

"Rose." He whispered her name like it was a curse, something that he wasn't supposed to be saying. "Rose I'm s-so sorry, I can't- I couldn say the, the- uh. Oh no, no no! 'S not fair." He slurred and stammered the words at the four simple little letters that seemed to hold the entirety of a universe of pain in them.

 _Doctor, My Doctor_

He let the intense memories wash over him, ignoring the agony that they left behind. Almost as though an acid had been poured into his hearts and was slowly destroying them, particle by particle. He reached out his arm in an attempt to grab the handle, but missed. Upon trying a second time he received the same result. The Doctor squinted his eyes at the swaying world around him before successfully grasping his around around the target.. He twisted the cold door handle and entered her room. Everything was exactly the same, except for two things; the bed sheets were altered from the many times he had slept in her room, and a glass vase with the second most beautiful rose he could find, preserved for eternity by the TARDIS who loved the girl as well. Every other aspect was the exact same, one sneaker on a fluffy chair in the right corner of the room and it's duplicate hidden under the bed. The pictures she had taken on their many adventures scattered in different locations across the room. He decided that once he could let go of his shrine he would put those pictures to better use than just sitting on dressers. He stretched out on the bed and rolled his head to the left, her favorite hoodie was thrown over a wooden desk. It was the pink one she had been wearing when they'd first met. His mind shot back to the day where he had heard the young woman yelling at the mobile plastic. She was always so brave, so courageous. One tear fell out the corner of his right eye and he didn't have the energy to push it away. It didn't matter if he cried, just because the Doctor wasn't allowed to have feelings in front of people didn't mean that he wasn't allowed to have feelings in general. His eyes slipped shut and he tried to even his labored breathing. The strong substance he had been drinking coursed through his veins and dragged his eyes closed. He fell into a restless sleep.

The color pink fluttered behind his eyelids, it was as if someone had picked up a thousand different colored shades of pink tissue paper and thrown them in his face. The distinct smell of a rose lingered in his whereabouts. The smell of a Rose that someone had left on a beach, once all alone and a second time with some knock off version of a doctor. However, the always trusting and always loving, Rose never really saw him as a knock off, the Time Lord was certain. A dark streak cut through the light pink color and he heard her, at first it was just a whisper.

"Doctor." The name was so faint he could barely hear it, even with his phenomenal hearing. Soon, however, it was a scream. Loud and ringing in his ears to the point where he could no longer doubt it's authenticity even while he was asleep. "Doctor! Doctor Please! Something is wrong! Plea-" something cut off the screaming and all of the sudden he sat directly up from his short rest. He opened his eyes and saw a world distinctly different from the one he had gone to sleep in. It was still Rose's room, but all the light pinks and purples were now harsh grays and blacks. Everything that had been so meticulously left in one place was thrown apart, clothes torn or burned, furniture broken, a window to his right was shattered and covered in blood. Her smell was gone, everything reeked of ash and burning, he didn't want to know what was burning. His ears perked when he heard a small inhale. With a quick turn, he saw her. She was hunched over, the quiet breath he had heard before turned into a sob and a harsh inhale, breathing in the air as if it was running out..

"Rose." He said, voice full of fear and amazement. She turned to him, but something was different about her. "Rose, what's wrong?" Her eyes held a lifetime of fear, pain, and sorrow. But as he searched her eyes for an explanation all he seemed to find was more and more pain. This wasn't just one lifetime. Dear god how long had she been here? Rose turned her face away from him and he saw a huge scar that ran from her chin to underneath her shirt. He looked at her entire body and saw dozens of scars that weren't there before. Where were they? More importantly, what in bloody hell had happened to her? Anger pumped through his hearts.

"Doctor" Her voice was rough, it formed the words harshly as she rushed through them. "I wasn't sure if I would be able to reach you, I've been trying for so long, but- but now you're here and that's all that matters." She shook her head, like she was trying to shake away all of the terrible thoughts, something he had tried many times, but always to no avail. Her hair was grown out completely brown, but it was covered with ash. Her eyes were dulled from whatever awful things she had seen and her skin was so pale, it was as though she had never seen the sun. Upon standing up he saw it, the blood. There was so much blood covering the front of her shirt.

"What the hell happened to you?" He almost yelled and moved towards her. She flinched back and crossed her arms over the deep wound. He instantly regretted the action, but what could've made her afraid of him? He tried to deny it, but the thought kept coming back.

"I'm coming back to you Doctor." Her words were a wrecking ball in his mind. He felt a brush of hope in both of his hearts, but he quickly shoved them down. She had _him_. The anger shot through his mind at the thought that he let her go with him and he left her in this state. Where was he? How could he have let this happen?

"You can't Rose. The walls in the universe, they're sealed. Either way, you have him now." It pained him to try and convince her to stay. How could he try to make her stay in this awful place? Where was the man who almost ripped down the walls of the universe just to see her again when she wasn't suffering the way she was now. Where was he?

"No Docto-" she tried to explain before a foot slammed into the door.

"I don't have any time! You will meet a girl named Amy very soon. Then you will understand how I can get to you, as for him…" The foot smashed right through the door and an arm reached towards the lock.

"Thought you could get away from me? Didn't you? Didn't you! I'll teach you to run." The voice came through the door and the Time Lord couldn't help but place it somewhere familiar, but it couldn't be.

"I can share the telepathic field with you, but I need more time. Goodbye, my Doctor." Her words rang out as he saw what he could've sworn to be his metacrisis standing bloodied, and with a knife in his hand. Then he collapsed onto the bed and her room was pink again, and she was gone again, and the pain was there again. Something new was there too, something bright, something hot. He was _pissed_. He was _furious._ How dare anyone do that to Rose? How dare they? He promised her safety in the new universe. His metacrisis vowed to protect her! What was he doing there with a knife? Why couldn't he help her?

So much rage was flinging through his veins that he almost didn't notice the crippling pain in his head, almost. By the time he did it was too late, he passed out and he didn't wake up. Not for 6 full days.

* * *

" _Oh, Stuff of legends."_

 _Rose allowed a painful smile to cross her face as tears pooled in her eyes, whenever she was hurting that was the memory she turned to. And she needed it now. He looked at her and said that one sentence that kept her fighting while she was locked away in that false home._

" _Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth." His smile was faked, just for her and he tried to make this seem somehow okay. "You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have." She faked a half smile at him before looking up and swallowing the air trying to escape her lungs in a scream._

" _Am I ever going to see you again?" She almost choked on the words, on the devastation they held in their nonexistent hands. It didn't matter, Rose wanted to take the words and destroy them, didn't want them to ever have to be said out of her mouth, and certainly not in this context._

" _You can't" And with something as simple as two little words, Rose Tyler, the one that we all knew, died._

" _What're you going to do?" She asked as she tried to hide the tears that were openly falling down her cheeks, and the ones gathering in his eyes._

" _Oh, I've got the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Time Lords." But she knew he was lying, inside she knew that he would struggle and that he would be alone. Somehow in all of this, she put that on herself._

" _On your own?" He nodded, and his confirmation just made everything worse. "I-" the words caught in her throat and she took a deep breath before she could continue. "I love you."_

" _Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler-" and she was gone, he was alone again. Alone with the same life of a Time Lord._

" _ **Ik tounin triken nind dasnoub gouyin**_ " _he said in his native tongue, hardly a whisper. But it wasn't fair, she deserved so much more than something she never got to hear in a language she couldn't understand._

" _I love you, my bad wolf." And the tears fell down his cheeks, silently._

* * *

07/21/09

Dear Doctor,

Now before you go making fun of me for this, because let's be real, If you ever actually found this you'd give me hell, this was your idea. Or the other you, bloody hell I don't know how to explain it. He said that maybe it would give me closure or something, said that I needed to hold on to my connection to you. We've been pretty good, got a house actually. That of course was a welcome home present from Pete, that man has more money than I thought possible. We have fun living the slow life, well sort of slow. Still both working at Torchwood but can you expect us to actually give up running? Seems a bit odd now, writing to another man with my boyfriend's consent. Oh, you're my boyfriend now. Well he's my boyfriend now. Made it official because it raised questions that two grown adults that act the way we do live together and are just friends. It didn't take as long as I thought it would for you to get used to us being officially together. I mean you practically picked up on it by the first day. Either way, we are actually happy. I miss you terribly don't get me wrong, but he's been trying to help. He's helping me rebuild myself while I help him do the same. The nightmares have gotten better I guess. He still doesn't sleep through the night, but neither do I so I guess it doesn't matter. He and I are getting better is what I'm trying to say I guess. We just need more time.

-Rose

09/17/09

Dear Doctor,

Seems a bit more fitting than Dear Diary huh? I know I should be writing to the Doctor that I'm with, but something isn't right with him. It's like he's losing bits of himself. He insisted to continue wearing his same trench coat, suit, converse, the whole look for about three months. Then I come downstairs one day and he's wearing blue jeans. Blue jeans! With rips in the knees! Thank god he switched right back when I pointed it out. I know it seems little but there are other things too, sometimes I swear he looks at me and doesn't even recognize me. He has headaches all the time and he never wants to do anything. I don't know what's wrong, I don't know how to help him. He's all that I have left of the real you. I feel like I'm losing the only connection I have to the life I used to love. Blimey- this is pathetic, I'm writing a diary entry. I, "Rose Tyler defender of the Earth" am writing a diary entry about boy problems. I best burn this thing, I'm never writing in it again.

-Rose

10/23/09

Dear Doctor,

I know the plan was to burn this thing, but I'm afraid. Something isn't right here and I don't know what. The Doctor didn't come home last night, he spends most nights out. When he comes home he always reeks of some strong liquor, I don't want to know how much he's been having. I thought that I could love this Doctor just the same as I love you, but he's not the same. I'm afraid of him. Not that it matters, I need to make him happy. I know that I pulled him away from the stars and I know he must resent me for it, but I can fix this, right? I'm Rose Tyler and you're supposed to be my best friend, the man who loves me. Lately it feels like you can barely stand to even look at me. Well not the you that I'm writing this to, I mean I know you'll never read this. I have to wonder if there's something wrong with him or me. Am I the problem? Does he really hate me that much? Or perhaps something else is going on here, something bigger than the two of us. I can't say what's wrong. I plan on talking to him tonight. Wish me luck.

-Rose

12/29/09

Dear Doctor,

Tonight he was in so much pain he was screaming. He says that the time vortex is rejecting him. Something about how when Time Lords used to travel to different universes in a TARDIS it would protect them from the different time vortex. Doctor I'm scared. He told me that he is dying, he told me he is dying and there is nothing we can do to save him. Sometimes, there are these moments. I think they happen when the pain dies down. It used to be those moments all the time, for those first few months we were always happy. Now occasionally he just does something that isn't absolutely horrifying. Yesterday was a good day, he told me how sorry he was for me to have to watch him like this, he said that he would love me until the end of time. For a moment, I could almost pretend that what was happening to us didn't exist. Today everything shifted. He said that this was my fault and I don't know what to believe anymore. I need you here. I need the real you here to tell me what to do, the real you would know. I can't look at this damn paper anymore, my head is pounding.

-Rose

2/25/10

Dear Doctor,

Did you mean what you said? That this life would be better for me. I can't explain what it's like living here. My head is constantly screaming, I don't know what's wrong with me. The pain that I'm in, I can only imagine what he is feeling further along in the process. To die piece by piece… it's something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Something I wouldn't wish upon the worst demon in hell. You're no help. Well, not the real you, the real you is the only thing that can keep me fighting at this point. I asked him to try and help, I asked him to keep fighting. Doctor he slapped me, told me to get it though my head. He said we were dying, bit by bit. I think… I think I believe him. He used to be you, the you that I knew and loved. He's changed, I've changed. Not in the normal growing apart way. Something in this universe is killing us and I don't know how much longer he is capable of holding out for. My money says he won't survive the month. I don't know what I'll do without him.

-Rose

* * *

She walked into the house on the date of March 15, 2010. Long after burning those five journal entries. She knew by now that no one could save them. The Doctor, the metacrisis Doctor had explained it exactly to her during one of the good days. Jackie and Mickey could stay in that universe because they were simple humans with simple human biology that no time vortex would ever bat an eye at. However the Doctor and Rose had both looked at and been a part of the Time Vortex in the other dimension. It had left them with a type of glow, this energy that the universe they were in could not process. It was actually more like two different things. On one hand there was this energy, it was called artron energy. This was the golden glow that Vortex saw. The second thing was the actual timelines, they were built up of Frasheen particles. The Doctor was covered in them due to being a Time Lord and Rose was covered in them from touching the Vortex. Either way, it damned them both. Rose had been fine the first time because she was just one out of place thing that happened to glow, but no one was going to go searching London for something they didn't know existed. The second time around wasn't so lucky. All the sudden the stars just miraculously stop going out? Likely. Everyone was looking for answers, including the vortex, and the Doctor and Rose were vibrantly glowing. Once the vortex found them she began to eat away at their every particle. She went after the Doctor first and then attacked Rose. It took a few mere months for them to go mad.

Doesn't matter now, the girl was thinking, we're bound to die. But that didn't mean Rose Tyler had been complacent. With every pull that the vortex yanked in her memory Rose fought back. Most days she spent on the floor of her room, in the pitch black, screaming at the Vortex and fighting her tooth and nail. The Doctor… he had already lost so much. With Rose not able to heal him like she had the first time before the Vortex found them, he gave in. So on March 15, 2010 Rose Tyler walked into the house that they had shared and saw a sight that would have made anyone's blood run cold.

The pinstripes on his suit were stained with blood.

So from then on out, Rose fought the Time Vortex alone. She lost the one she loved, although officially it would be to suicide, she lost him to the Vortex, to the universe, to that other Doctor who always thought he knew best when he just didn't. His mistake cost one life already, she just prayed that it wouldn't be any more.

 _I can fight this_ she thought. _I just need to hold on to what makes me who I am._ But, not for the first time since returning to this universe, she had no idea who that was. With her mind slowly being devoured by the Time Vortex she had no idea who she was. All the memories she had left were faded, dull and fuzzy. The rest had been ripped into the Vortex, never to return to her mind unless she went in there and retrieved them. With that being impossible, whoever the blonde haired girl was, she wasn't Rose Tyler. She lost the last thing she had. So she too slipped away, because why fight when you didn't know what you were fighting. Or why you were fighting. All this girl knew was that if she left she would be reunited with someone she once knew. It was strange that she knew this, considering she didn't know much of anything, but she just.. knew.

* * *

 _The song of the TARDIS rang throughout the room, but that wasn't possible, he had sent her away. He had saved her, the only way to get back was if she- no. Rose wasn't capable of that, she was just a human. If she did that it would spell out her certain death. There was no way she could have joined with the Time Vortex, no mortal race could. But when the doors opened, his worst fear was deemed true. The radiant beauty of individual timelines glowed from out the TARDIS door, glowed from out of Rose. The beauty faded away as he realized she just about signed her own death warrant._

" _What've you done?" He yelled at her. How stupid could she be? She would die from that, undoubtedly. The girl he was supposed to take care of. The girl he promised to look after! How could he explain to her mother that she had died because of him?_

" _I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me." She said softly, yet the words held a strength and a power he couldn't comprehend. His anger subsided slightly as he noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had done this to save him. She had risked her own life, just to save some daft old man with big ears._

" _You looked into the Time Vortex." He knew that she wouldn't have much time. "Rose, no one's meant to see that." The concern raised in his voice. She had not just looked into the Vortex like she thought, she had joined with it. When it 'looked' into her as she stated it had just about dumped her in a bucket of artron energy and Frasheen particles._

 _The Dalek emperor yelled through the screen. "This is the abomination." It seemed as though he was giving a silent command and one Dalek followed, it yelled out, "Exterminate!" before shooting one of it's lethal weapons directly at Rose. The Doctor was crouched on the floor and barely had time to turn his head to the Dalek. She didn't even flinch when she raised her arm and sent the beam directly back at it. The Doctor could do nothing but stare with a mix of amazement, amusement, and horror. Would she survive this, and if she did, would she recover? The time vortex isn't a stroll down memory lane, it has the capacity to create, to change, to end, and certainly to kill. The only one who could contain would be… a Time Lord. The only race that could even see it without certainly dying was the Time Lords, most likely due to them being the creators of it. To contain it within one's self was completely different. Rose looked at the sign above the screen that showed the Dalek Emperor._

" _I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here." Everything that had been so confusing before clicked into place. She sends out the words, a message so she can save her Doctor and the only thing he can do is beg._

" _Rose, you've got to stop this. You've got to stop this now. You've got the entire vortex running through your head. You're going to burn." His voice was thick with worry. He was on the verge of tears. She was just a young girl, and yet again he was putting her life in danger. She didn't seem to even notice he was speaking until she turned her head abruptly._

" _I want you safe." She stared deep into his eyes, now being one of the only times she truly showed her emotions. "My Doctor. Protected from the false god." His hearts skipped a beat. Her doctor? The title seemed rather fitting, but it only confirmed what he was hoping wasn't true. She was doing this for him, and if she died it would destroy him. If she died, the only person who had seen the bad in him and stayed would have died because of him. He just wasn't sure he could survive something like that. Wasn't sure he could survive losing her._

" _You cannot hurt me. I am immortal!" The emperor yelled from his screen._

" _You are tiny." The words are said with such strength it is shocking, the tears rolling down her cheeks only seem to support her decision. "I can see the whole of time and space. Every single atom of your existence.." she paused, almost reaffirming whatever decision she was making. When she spoke again her voice was not her at all, but the Vortex speaking under her wish to protect him. "And I divide them." Her eyes glowed, somehow brighter than before. She held up her arm and the certainty in her eyes gleamed with the pain of knowing what could've been and what could never be. She raised her arm and a Dalek disintegrated._

" _Everything must come to dust. All things. Everything dies. The Time War ends." The Doctor was powerless as the fleets disintegrated, piece by piece. She had done everything he never could, she had defeated the Daleks. Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf, had single handedly ended the time war. Something he hadn't felt for a long time filled his hearts, he would forever deny the fact that it was love. Love directed at the woman who would do anything for him, but now wasn't the time for pesky feelings. He needed to focus on her right now._

" _Rose, you've done it. Now stop." He commands, "Just let go." He says firmly, hoping maybe he can break through to her. If she just let go there was a chance, one chance in hell, that they would both survive this._

" _How can I let go of this?" Her face was traced with confusion. "I bring life." Her eyes shone bright golden again and Jack was resurrected from the dead._

" _But this is wrong! You can't control life and death." He was hoping he could convince her to just let go of the power, that maybe she would survive it. She needed to see that this was wrong._

" _But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night. But why do they hurt?" More tears fell down her face, the Rose he knew was shielded by whatever part of the Vortex she had taken in. He couldn't get her to understand. More guilt came crashing down on his shoulders, he had pushed her into doing this. He had pushed her into feeling this much pain._

" _The power's going to kill you and it's my fault." He turned his head away from her._

" _I can see everything." The Time Lord looked back at her. He was astounded, had she become one of his people? That was impossible. "All that is, all that was, all that ever could be." The realization dawned on him, the Vortex had given her the knowledge of a Time Lord and she had mere moments before she too would disintegrate. No human mind could contain something even remotely close to that magnitude._

" _That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?" He stood up and stared her directly in the face, a small smile at the thought that someone else in the universe actually understood what he was seeing._

" _My head." She was begging now._

" _Come here." He said gently._

" _It's killing me" She cried._

" _I think you need a Doctor." And he kissed her, and he took the Vortex from her, and he died for her. Most surprising of all, he regenerated as a perfect match for her. Every aspect of his new body was designed perfectly for the woman he couldn't admit that he loved._

* * *

"Jack, meet me at Cardiff, April 30, 2012." The Doctor said into a phone, he powered up the TARDIS and for the first time in a long time had a sense of hope. Although the hope was shrouded by whatever had happened or was happening to Rose. He swore to himself that he would come clean about his feelings if he ever got the chance to see her again, to hold her just one more time. He used his expert...ish TARDIS flying knowledge to fly right over to Cardiff as the ship sang contently at the thought of her favorite coming back home.

Upon landing he saw Jack leaned up against a telephone pole, when Jack noticed him he whistled. "Took ya long enough!" He yelled at the Doctor.

"Why are you complaining, rumor has it you've got all the time in the world." The Doctor joked back at him.

"Ah the things we could do in that time." Jack said with a wink and a cheeky grin, "However my immortal ass is not fine with waiting around for a month and a half. No matter how cute your face is at the time." He said with a slightly accusatory and still flirty tone.

"Blimey- that far off?" The Doctor said apologetically as he looked around awkwardly. He spied a trash can, reached in, grabbed a newspaper, and glanced at the top right corner. It was June 13th.

"You really aren't as good at piloting this thing as you think, maybe because there's only one of you. I might be able to fix that. I mean, who would make a better companion to the guy afraid of losing people than the man who can never die? Anyways we could go out and have our fun for years and years, then I could come right back here to Torchwood. What do you say? You're too lonely, you need a companion." Jack suggested not so subtly. Then the Doctor burst into a grin, the first real smile in months and Jack reciprocated.

"Oh of course you're welcome. Just no sleeping with any other companions." Jack rolled his eyes and the Doctor sent him a look before he inevitably conceded.

"Alright alright, I can look at the menu and flirt aggressively with the menu as long as I don't order from it." Jack said in a defeated voice. Well as defeated of a voice as the man who seemed to almost always be happy could procure. "How long will it take for the TARDIS to kick me off?" He asked in a slightly serious tone, staring at his gray boots. He kicked the laces on his left shoe.

"You can stay forever." Jack's head shot up. The Doctor smiled warmly, "Yeah I modified the TARDIS before coming here, took me damn near a month. Argued day and night with her, but you can stay, for as long as you'd like." Jack's eyes lit up.

"You and me, till the end of time. Fantastic!" Jack yelled with a huge grin and his dark trench coat blowing rapidly behind him. The light clouds covered the sky and wind pulled at the Doctor's light hair.

"Yeah, you and me… and one more." Jack's eyebrows raised curiously at the other man's words. He had a new companion? After what had happened, everyone leaving him all at once, he didn't think the Doctor would have another companion for a very long time.

"Who is it? I didn't know you had a new com-" The Doctor cut him off with a raise of the hand.

"It's Rose, Jack. Rose is back."

* * *

Two men with scruffy hair are sitting in small red booths that fit one person. There is a table between the trench coated men and their miniature booths. Jack Harkness has dark blue-gray colored jeans on, a light blue button down shirt with the top two buttons undone revealing his white undershirt and a dark coat with four buttons down the front that nearly skims the floor. His feet fiddle with the laces on the opposite shoe, a bad habit he had picked up from a girl who smelled of honey and was one of his two best friends. _Rose Tyler._ The Doctor was wearing his ill fitting blue suit and red converse. The suit was about a size too big, he had lost a lot of weight since Rose left. His light brown coat pooled on the floor and creased against his seat, the lapels folded back to reveal his crooked burgundy tie and white button down that was buttoned all the way up to his neck.

"Are you going to keep staring at your cup or are you going to explain what the hell you mean." Jack said, he hadn't intended it to come out harshly but now was not the time to worry about hurting feelings. If Rose was out there he deserved to know.

"She came to me Jack, I don't know how. One minute I was asleep and when I woke up I was in some different place. I don't know how to explain it. It was like Rose's room but something awful had happened, the metacrisis was breaking down her door, he had a knife." He paused and swallowed, "Jack she was- there.. There was so much blood." He looked down and his eyes searched the cuppa in some attempt to find an answer to what was going on. The man across from him blinked emotion out of his eyes, now wasn't the time for weakness and he locked his feelings behind a steel resolve, his blue eyes masked.

"What could have happened?" He asked, knowing that the Doctor would have told him if he had any idea.

"I don't know." The words were agonizing. "But I have a plan to find out, that's why I came to you." He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. The only thought running through his head was how much he didn't want to do this.

"What is it Doctor? I'll do anything you need." Jack said, almost as desperate as him to find Rose and bring her home. The Doctor returned his eyes to Jack.

"I need you to look into the time vortex and find how I meet a girl named Amy, if I looked through that many timelines I would die. Anyone would die from it actually, so I need the immortal man." Jack nodded in understanding of how awful it was for the Doctor to ask him this favor, even though Jack would do that and much more for Rose. "You know I wouldn't ask if there was any other way." He said with shame laced in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah of course. It's not a problem, I mean if it can save her… how could I not? Why do I have to find Amy though? Why shouldn't I just look for Rose?" Jack questioned.

"What is happening to Rose right now is locked in the Time Vortex in the other universe. Doing it would be impossible, we need to find Amy. Rose said when I found Amy I would understand where she was. I don't know why it's important but it is." The Doctor offered his lame explanation, he had no way of knowing what this Amy girl would show him. How could some girl find who he had looked for himself for almost two years. Jack nodded, then he downed the rest of his drink and put a tenner on the table.

"Let's go." He said, and the two men walked out of the restaurant, red converse and gray boots slapping against the cobblestone. It was a 50 meter walk, at most, but every step felt like an eternity. They both wanted to sprint to the TARDIS, but two men going into a small Police Box raised enough questions as is, so they walked as fast as they could without drawing any extra attention to themselves. When they finally reached the box the doctor unlocked the door and held it open while Jack walked in. He took the opportunity to make light off the situation and whistled at the flirty captain.

"Ladies first." The two chuckled and an elderly woman a few meters away gasped. This only caused them to laugh even harder as the Doctor strutted into the box, winked at the woman, closed the door, and locked it behind him. The smiles fell from their faces as they realized the gravity of what they were about to do.

"You sure about this?" The Doctor asked him, making sure he knew that he didn't have to do this if he didn't want to. Jack raised his right hand and put it directly over his heart.

"I'm sure I want to do this, I swear on this damn thing that won't stop beating." They both forced small smiles. The Doctor walked over to the console of the TARDIS and stroked the controls lightly. The ship hummed to him softly, she gave him the answer he needed. Told him that he was correct, this was the only way.

"I can't be here for this. All you have to do is raise this lever and stare directly into her, you'll have about four minutes to find who this Amy is before you die. Rose's timeline is pink, since she has left the universe find where her timeline ends and travel from there to find Amy." He looked the slightly shorter man in the eyes. "Be safe." Jack pulled his hand up from over his heart and used his index finger to draw a small X over the organ instead.

"Cross my heart." He said, hoping the other man got the poke at humor he was using to dull the severity of the situation

"Hope to die." The Doctor said back. He nodded at Jack, then he turned and entered a room that had gallifreyan carved into the door right underneath a name printed in black letters. _Rose._

Jack looked at the console and pulled the lever, then he was everything. He was everything and he was nothing all at once. He was exquisite and he was disgusting. Golden particles bathed him in stands of time. Every possible timeline was running through his veins, all at once. The gold shone through him and he forget his task for an instant, but only an instant. He quickly regained himself and fought off the pain in his head before staring deep into the vortex in an attempt to find any discrepancy. He flicked his eyes to his watch, almost ironically as he found himself literally surrounded by the particles of time. He wondered if they had a name. Suddenly it came into his mind, the answer to his question, in the form of a memory that wasn't his. They were called **Frasheen** he didn't know what language it was, but it almost seemed familiar. Like he'd heard it before. A second timeline came forward, it was the language of the Time Lords, it was Gallifreyan. He wanted to find out so much but he had such little time, so he looked and looked for the pink. Finally, after what could have been an infinite amount of time or 3 nanoseconds, he saw it. The pink line cut off in the middle of it's story and all the potential timelines flowing around it. There was a fixed point however, a strong pink wavelength. He reached towards it, only to be horrified. Rose Tyler would return to this universe, she would return to her home and she would live safely with the Doctor. That wasn't the fixed point though, Rose Tyler wouldn't just live here again, she would die. Rose Tyler would die very soon and no one, not even the Doctor, could save her. He didn't have time to follow what happened to her timeline after she died, he found it odd that it kept going but it must just be the people who carry on her memory or whatever happens to be people after they die. He felt a crisis of conscious, he could stop searching and wait to die in hope that Rose wouldn't make it back to her universe or he could find Amy and be responsible for killing her. The Vortex felt his concern and erased it from him, he began to wonder why he hesitated in the first place. He sprinted towards the break in the line as his head began screaming at an unimaginable rate. He saw one thing, then he fell out of the vortex.

"Doctor!" He screamed, and the Doctor threw open the door and ran into the room. "Scotland. Easter of 1996, Scotland." Then Jack collapsed onto the floor and died. He never remembered those ten minutes leading up to his death, couldn't quite recall seeing her face awash in light but still as a rock. The man came back to life without knowing he and the Vortex had just sent an innocent young girl running towards her death.

* * *

 _The Doctor needed something to clear his head from the horrors he had seen, Rassilon and the Master had just gone head to head. Then there was Wilf, Wilf an innocent victim who had declared that the best thing he could do with what was left of his life was protect the Doctor. He hit the airlock button and the door the Doctor planned on entering slammed closed. He pounded and pounded on the door as tears ran down his face, but Wilf held the button down. When Wilf's body began to fail they had both slid to the floor, the Doctor was screaming how stupid he was, how his life wasn't worth it. He was yelling at a corpse. The Doctor needed something beautiful to help him forget. He was sure seeing her just once couldn't hurt the timelines. He decided he needed her now the most, so he placed the coordinates into the TARDIS and set off._

 _He knew that she couldn't be allowed to see his face, bloody hell even hearing him was pushing the limit, but he had to try. So, he hid in the shadows next to her apartment. He really hadn't meant to let out that rough cough, it had just been an accident. She turned to him, hair flowing in the wind and a scarf following suit._

" _You alright, mate?" She asked in a soft voice. His Rose, always making sure everyone else was okay. Her cheeks were flushed pink._

" _Yeah." Was the best response he could manage to the woman that he loved. It was the only thing he could say when he saw no recognition in her eyes, no spark that reminded him of what she felt for him._

" _Too much to drink?" Rose was hoping it was nothing more serious as she noted the stranger was very handsome, or at least she thought it was. She had some champagne at Jimbo's party and his face was covered in shadows._

" _Something like that." He replied softly._

" _Maybe it's time you went home." She always did take care of him, even when she didn't realize._

" _Yeah." It was a lame answer and he knew he was losing her._

" _Anyway, Happy New Year." Panic set in his hearts when he realize she was leaving, but released at the sight of her grin._

" _And you." He needed her to stay, just for a few more seconds. He needed her, even if she didn't recognize him. So as she was walking away, he asked quickly, "What year is this?" Her head whipped around and he relaxed slightly that he wasn't alone quite yet._

" _Blimey, how much have you had? 2005, January the first." She said the answer like it was obvious, he couldn't wait until she understood why it meant so much._

" _2005\. Tell you what. I bet you're going to have a really great year." He was fighting off his tears as he shot her a big smile._

" _Yeah?" She shot him an enormous smile, "See ya." And while she ran up the stairs to her flat she couldn't help but hope she did see the stranger around. She couldn't quite place the feeling, but it was almost like the two knew each other. Oh well, she was just being silly._

 _The Doctor stood alone in the bitter cold and watched her walk away. He turned and walked back to the TARDIS. The ship reached out to him as he yet again was enveloped by pain from the loss. How had he let the metacrisis convince him to send her away with him?_

* * *

 _Everyone was celebrating in the control room when the Doctor signaled the other Doctor into a separate room. They walked down a short corridor and into a room that they were sure was sound proofed. The metacrisis doctor took a deep breath and looked the original Doctor in the eyes, apologetically._

" _You need to send me and Rose to the other universe before the walls close." A regretful set of eyes met a horrified pair, and yet they were the same eyes. Those eyes held the same pain, the same memories, the same.. Well everything. But somehow this one thing was different. The two were carbon copies and the real Doctor knew exactly what the metacrisis was thinking. He knew every argument the man would have prepared, every point he would make, and every rebuttal he would deliver. Worst of all, he knew that he was right, but he couldn't help himself from fighting anyways. She was his rose and no one else's._

" _Absolutely not. She is staying right here, with me. I'm her Doctor, not you. You're just some cheap rip off of the original." He spat at the man who was wrapped up in a blue suit with a dark red shirt underneath._

" _You know I can give her something better! Me and her… we could live. We could live a real life, we could be together. Not what this is, she's hurting and you're too afraid to say that you love the girl! After everything she's done for you and you can't spit out three little words. Well I know about you_ _ **Doctor**_ _, and you are not the man she needs." The words hit the Time Lord right in his hearts. He has twisted his name into something that stung. He took one of the two things he loved and spat on it. One of the two things he loved, being her Doctor and to be blunt, her. Rose Tyler, the man across from him just claimed that he couldn't love her. Of course he loved her, just because expressing emotions wasn't exactly his forte didn't mean his feelings didn't count. Brown eyes flamed with anger as he prepared to unleash all hell on the other Doctor._

 _He grabbed the man's blue lapels and shoved him into the wall. "How dare you. How bloody dare you. You weren't there when she needed someone, you never were! But I was." The fury was thick in his words as he began to continue his speech but was cut off by the other man._

" _At least I had an actual excuse! Every time she was in pain and you weren't there, which we both know was a lot, you had the chance to help her. And you didn't, because you're a coward, and you could never give her what she deserves. But I'm not like you! I could help her, I could make a life with her." The man in the blue suit was practically begging the one in the pinstripes._

" _You could make a life with her, but it wouldn't be what she deserves. Because in all of time I have never met someone who deserved a life in the stars more than Rose Marion Tyler. And you could love her, with all your heart, you really could. But it would never amount to what I feel in the both of mine, and she would never be as loved with you as she would be with me. You want to tell me you're a better match because you're part human? Race doesn't really matter when I love her, in fact it doesn't mean anything at all when she's the light, and the love, of my life." He was breathing heavily by the end of his speech. The metacrisis looked at the Doctor as a tear fell down his cheek._

" _Don't make me say it." He begged the pinstriped man. "Please don't make me say it." Another tear fell down his cheek and the Doctor shook his head as tears gathered in his own eyes, he knew this was coming. Still he shook his head in some type of attempt to pretend the obvious reason didn't exist._

" _She will never be enough for you." The Doctor stopped at the words and nodded as a tear fell down his cheek. "No matter what she does, you will never make that move. She'll waste her entire life with you, and you will never marry her. She will give you anything that you ask for, and she will never learn your true name." The men both grimaced at the thought of her alone for her entire life. Then on cue they wiped their eyes and cleared their throats._

" _So tomorrow we let her decide."_

 _Neither of them heard the quiet sob that came from a girl hiding behind a door the TARDIS had provided. Or maybe they just didn't want to acknowledge their hearts laid out for her. Rose Tyler pressed her head up against the cool wall and let tears slide down her cheeks. How was she supposed to choose? How could he force her to do that?_

* * *

Jack was asleep in a room the TARDIS had made just for him when the Doctor found himself where he somehow always ended up, Rose's room. The short corridor that lead to his room, with her's right next to it. He looked at the hexagons that covered the hall and wondered why he didn't go back to the circles that he used to prefer on the walls in his earlier regenerations. Memories of Rose jumped into his head and pushed away the thoughts he had been using in an attempt to forget her. He needed to communicate with her again. She said that it had something to do with the telepathic fields, but how could she know about those? The only ones who knew how to project someone into a different location using only telepathic fields were the highest elders of Gallifrey, and the power tended to drive them mad. How in the name of Rassilon had Rose, an ordinary human mind you, done it. He cringed at the thought, Rose was anything but ordinary. If any human could do it, he knew it would be her. Rose could do anything she put her mind to it seems, the girl could do the impossible if she wanted. No, not could, she had done the impossible. She'd traveled through time and space, hopped through universes like a game of hopscotch, had projected a Time Lord into a different dimension with a telepathic field, and most impossible of all, she had sole possession of his hearts.

He had yet to sleep since he last saw her, so he twisted the doorknob and walked into the room. He walked past the fluffy chair with only one shoe on it, stepped over her light blue hoodie that was in a heap on the floor, was careful not to accidentally brush the pink dress off the corner post of her bed, and then laid down. He put his dull red shoes up on the wooden bar that connected one end post of the bed to the other. It was a twin sized bed, which he think the TARDIS did on purpose considering the fact that everyone else who had ever gone aboard had gotten a king. Whenever she had nightmares he had gone to console her, they would lay together in the small bed rather close. He had never had this experience with a companion either, of course he told himself it was different because their rooms were so close so he could hear her when she was upset. All of those were lies, he knew that the TARDIS had done all these things different and he was about to ask her to move the room when Rose had hit him with a grin and yelled out, "We're bunk mates!" Her smile, he couldn't move her away from him.

So with thoughts of the woman he loved, he drifted off to sleep, hoping she would reach him. He didn't have his usual nightmares. The ones that featured Davros and the Cult of Skaro and weeping angels or some other monster taking Rose. He slept quite nicely actually, dreamed of the blonde girl touching his hair, his shoulders, his face. He dreamed of a happy time, one where he truly was the Doctor. He dreamed of the woman who made him into the best version of himself that he could be.

Even in dreams, he knew it wasn't real, but he couldn't bring himself to deny what he saw before him. Her eyes flashed with energy and her cheeks were bright red from the cold. He could tell it was cold because her breath was so warm it fogged up the air she breathed out. Snow clung to her hair and caught in her eyelashes. A smile was so wide on her face it captivated every single cell of his being. This was how he wished he could always remember her. He wished when he dreamt of her it would be times like these. Times when her eyes glowed and her radiance protruded from that of anyone else's. He wanted to remember her when she was in lavish dresses and all done up, he wanted to remember her in sweatpants with damp hair. He wanted to remember her happy. Still, all too often, he dreamt of her in pain. He saw glowing eyes crying from the agony, he saw her faceless, he saw her hopeless and alone by his own doing. He wanted to remember her, but if she died in that other universe because of the metacrisis it would be his undoing. If he hurt her in any way, how could he forgive himself? How could he ever remember her happy when he had watched the man kick down a door with a knife? He opened up his mind while asleep in an attempt to make any contact with her easier for her to complete and he began to feel a slight prod. _Here we go_. He thought as he sat up and opened his eyes to a completely different world.

* * *

Tell me what you think in the comments! Thanks for reading this far!


	2. The Beginning of the Death of a Doctor

So I know You were promised a linear chapter this time, but like… shit hit the fan and that's not happening. Well it sort of is, Rose and the metacrisis' timeline is in correct order, however the Doctor's is still a bit weird. It will make sense soon I promise. I just need to use flashbacks to rewrite little things and make the scenes work for what I need, anyways leave a review! Also I don't know French so I offer the deepest apologies if I screwed up.

* * *

Rose tuned out her mum and the other Doctor joking off to the side as she looked around at her surrounding. She had been praying that he wouldn't push her in this direction. Rose Tyler belonged on the TARDIS with her Doctor, not with this bloke in a suit.

"Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?" Concern hung at the ends of her words, her tone was doused in sorrow. She had fought so hard to get across to him, how could he just send her back like nothing? How could he do this after what she had overheard him say? Of course he didn't know she had heard it, but he should've! He couldn't do this to her.

"You're back home." He knew the words were a lie, yet he said them anyways.

"And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now." Both the Doctor and Rose really did like Donna, but she wasn't a part of this conversation. They needed to talk without interruption right now.

"No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." She truly had spent more time than either of the men knew. Finding one universe out of an infinite amount wasn't easy! By the first six months of constant dimension-hopping they had only narrowed it down to one million. Not to mention the places were rarely safe.

"But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own." The Doctor had made his decision last night, he knew that they needed to be together in this universe. He knew that it was what was best for everyone.

"You made me." The other Doctor said angrily, it sounded as if the full Time Lord was trying to sabotage their plan.

"Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone? That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him." She could barely look at him, she knew deep down he was right, but that wasn't her Doctor. Tears pooled in her eyes and her mascara clumped together.

"But he's not you."

"He needs you. That's very me." There was too much emotion between the two of them. That man behind her was not the Doctor she had grown to love, or was he? And say she did stay here, if he truly needed her, wouldn't it crush him? The true Doctor could only do his best to conceal his anguish at the thought of never seeing her again.

"But it's better than that, though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you? Tell her. Go on." Donna tried to persuade him, Rose couldn't ignore the bit of anger that whispered in the back of her mind. Donna begged the man to show Rose the gift she was being given, the sacrifice. Rose turned her head and looked at the man in the blue suit.

"I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart." He sped through the words.

"Which means?" She said quietly, even though deep down she knew. She needed to hear it from him. She needed to make sure she was right.

"I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler." Her name rolled off his tongue and she couldn't help but imagine them together. "I could spend it with you, if you want." He shrugged at the words, trying to pretend that they didn't confirm his feelings for her. As if he was still trying to hide the fact that he had wanted to be with her the whole time.

"You'll grow old at the same time as me?" As awful as it was, she was still tempted. A life where she didn't have to doubt his feelings.

"Together." Rose was mesmerized, she reached her hand out to touch his chest and his words were deemed true. Only one heart lay underneath his skin. The true Doctor smiled, it had worked. He convinced her to stay, a small smile spread across his face even though he knew the pain this decision would cause. The TARDIS made a noise, she was trying to get them to come back home before the universe closed. She sung loud in the Time Lord's head that this was a bad decision, but he ignored her. He wanted just a few more second with her, but knew that it was too much to ask. Rose turned to him and he almost dropped to his knees to make her come home, to stay with him. Her hair stuck lightly to her lip gloss, the same way it had when they first met. And just like before, he was trying to save her life.

"We've got to go. This reality is sealing itself off for ever." He spat the words out as quick as he could, like they were wrong. The Doctor and Donna turned to walk away, but Rose ran up to him.

"But, it's still not right, because the Doctor's still you." Rose couldn't, no.. Rose didn't want to wrap her head around it. Because she knew that once she did, she would have to accept this man as the Doctor even though in her heart he would never truly be her Doctor.

"And I'm him." He said, he almost had her convinced to stay. He just needed to do this for a little longer, then he could fall apart.

"All right. Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it." She looked her Doctor directly in the eye. The identical men were standing two feet apart, with her in the middle. The wind picked up the the tails of their jackets, and all three of them could feel their hair being tugged at gently.

"I said, Rose Tyler." He wanted to say those three words, he wanted to say them so bad. He wanted to confess to her, he wanted to hold her. But he couldn't, this was for her own good. If she stayed here she could be happy, she could live a normal life.

"Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?' She wanted to hear it as bad as he wanted to say it.

"Does it need saying?" He tried to hold his voice steady, but it wavered. The TARDIS was no longer humming, she was yelling in his head. She warned him over and over that this was a bad decision, that Rose should stay with them instead. The TARDIS begged him to say the words. He dismissed her, he locked the TARDIS out of his mind, if only for a few moments. He couldn't have her playing favorites at a time like this, and Rose was the favorite every single time.

"And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?" He touched her arm and leaned into her, inhaling her scent.

"Rose Tyler, I love you." Her heart fluttered and she knew that her decision was made. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and kissed him. The metacrisis returned what he'd been dreaming about for, well technically for about a day but realistically about six years. The full Time Lord couldn't stand to watch, he got into the TARDIS and flew far away. For the first time ever the TARDIS didn't hint or suggest at something, she didn't joke to him or hum, he heard the words loud and clear in his head.

' _You've no idea what you have just done.'_

He was taken aback, but Donna had already sent the ship far away from the Beach. What in the name of hell could the TARDIS mean?

Rose stood with her new Doctor on the beach. All she could think about was the irony, everyone had told her she would just be a shop girl for the rest of her life, maybe a secretary if she was lucky. Yet here she was, that same girl had such a great effect on her universe it had echoed out to other ones as well. She was standing on Bad Wolf Bay. In her time dimension hopping she discovered that almost everyone knew legends of the name. Some spoke of a girl with golden eyes and hair, some spoke of a vengeful goddess. Either way, everyone knew the Bad Wolf, but that fame was about to be their undoing.

She took his hand and the two walked towards Jackie, they needed to get out of Norway. Jackie flashed a cell phone and dialed a number. Right on cue Pete pulled up. He gets out of the car, which is an obvious rental, and calls across the beach.

"I took a shot in the dark about where you guys would make it through to when the walls started repairing." Everyone was slightly puzzled, there was no way he could've guessed that so accurately. Upon realizing they didn't believe him, Pete flashed a grin. "The Doctor shot me a text." He said as he held up four plane tickets. A forced chuckle came from the Doctor's throat.

"Wait a second, when did he text you?" Rose inquired, a slight suspicion raised her voice. Pete flipped open his phone and checked the timestamp on the text.

"Oh, about two this morning. Crazy bloke." He said with a small laugh. Rose nodded, all she could think about was the Doctor playing out every possible scenario before deciding the best choice was to send her off to this universe.

* * *

Rose and the Doctor were on the couch at her parent's home. She was sitting with her back against one side of the couch and her legs stretched out. The Doctor had his head in her lap and dangled his long limbs all off the sides of the furniture. Rose played with his hair gently and he did his best to offer moral support.

"You know, someone told me a while back that uh… that the Doctor doesn't do domestics." She laughed lightly and he swatted her in the leg. "You dare strike a lady?" She says in her most pretentious voice. They both laughed a little louder. All the sudden her atmosphere changed.

"Why me?" She asked, when he shot her a dumbfounded look she repeated it. "Doctor, why me."

"What do you mean?" He responded.

"Why did you pick me to travel with, why didn't you kick me out after all my mistakes, why do you love someone like me?" Her voice raised in inquiry as she hoped for a certain response.

"Because you were everything I needed and more. When I needed a friend that's exactly what you were. When I needed someone to hold me after a nightmare, you were right there. When I needed someone to protect or to protect me you were there. How after all this time can you not see it? You're my whole universe to me Rose. No, you're every universe to me. I have conquered and killed and lost, so much, but you never let me go out into the world unforgiven. No matter anything I had done, you were always there to tell me it was alright. How could I not love you? You're my Rose just as I'm your Doctor and that's just how it has to be. I've always loved you." He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Her heart filled with warmth, for the first time in a very long time she felt complete. She went back to pulling lightly at his hair.

"Same as always, I wouldn't have missed it for the world." It wasn't a long confession, but it held the weight of two universes. He sighed and burrowed his head into her hands. The conversation had gone down a more serious path than either of them had expected and they both looked for a way to bring back the happy mood. Rose poorly suppressed a laugh when he yawned.

"It's not funny!" She just went into a fit of laughter. "Stop that, it isn't funny! I'm part human now, of course i'm tired, it's been a long day." She cackled and kissed the top of his head.

"Sleep, my Doctor." She murmured and began to hum softly. The Doctor dreamed of him and her swimming on a planet that had water the consistency of honey. They dragged each other through the sticky stuff and he had burst out laughing when some got in her mouth and she spat it out instantly. Just because it felt like honey didn't mean it tasted like it.

While the Doctor was asleep, Rose pulled herself down so that she was laying as well. The two were quite a sight, both fully dressed with their shoes on and everything. They held each other so tight it was as though they were afraid that someone would steal the other half of the couple if they let go. Not like that wasn't a threat or anything, because it was. Rose's eyes slipped shut. She dreamed of the TARDIS.

* * *

" _Oh no, no, she's just an invention. This character, Rose. I call her, Rose. Seems to disappear later on."_

 _John Smith wandered his small quarters, he was unaware why he was suddenly dreaming of a world with technology far beyond what they had now. Why would he see something as odd as flying blue box? This world that he imagined was beautiful, and it was terrible. He dreamed of such great things and such terrible agony. Most nights he saw the girl with blonde hair, Rose was her name. She did hold true to her name, beautiful but with thorns. He couldn't get the dreams out of his head, they were all he thought about. It was a constant stream of different times and planets and everything was changing all the time. Everything changing except of course, her. One of his dreams had proved a different story though, it had by far been the worst. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, even if he didn't want to, he knew he needed to sleep._

 _The darkness was agonizing until a splat of blue paint covered the blackness and drew him into a blue box. He walked around it, like he did in every dream, before walking in with the same result. He checked three times even though he knew it wouldn't change._

" _Blimey" He muttered, "Bigger on the inside." He murmured and the entire scene fell away, suddenly he was someone completely new. He was almost positive he felt his ears grow. He looked down and saw a body completely unrecognizable. Did he have… muscle? Him, John Smith, the scrawniest man alive had muscle? He remembered more about this body, this was his previous regeneration. Well not his obviously, his character's previous regeneration. He ran his hand over his head and was almost shocked before he remembered the short buzz this body had. He looked over and saw her. She was just as beautiful as he remembered._

" _Er, the inside's bigger than the outside?" She pointed out the obvious, he seemed oblivious to the remark and just responded without giving his body the command to do so. He assumed this was one of his character's memories._

" _Yes." He was almost used to being launched into a new body until her heard that northern accent. It rang throughout every word he said and accentuated the roughness of his voice._

" _It's alien." She stated, her voice was soft and kind next to his gruff one._

" _Yeah." He said it as though it couldn't be more obvious._

" _Are you alien?" John Smith wanted to yell no at the beautiful woman, but this wasn't his memory to rewrite. This was someone else's. This girl was the Doctor's, and no one else could have her. Bloody hell he sounded like a lunatic, ranting about space and aliens and spaceships._

" _Yes." She nodded in response to his words. "Is that alright?" Suddenly John Smith's thoughts were no longer his own, they were his character's. He had never cared if the humans had a problem with him being alien, but it was different with her. He had only known her for a mo, yet it seemed much longer. He could've sworn that deep down something had pushed him into coming here. It was as though the memory was hidden inside of him, never to be found._

" _Yeah." Her words were a blessing, an answer to his prayer. The Doctor shook his head, pushing the thoughts out of his mind. She was just some girl, why does he care so much?_

" _It's called the Tardis, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S. That's Time And Relative Dimension In Space." He explained quickly, but I was falling. It clicked in his head that the blue box had an actual name. He committed it to his memory, he would have to write about it when he woke up. TARDIS, time and relative dimension in space, he repeated the phrase in his head over and over again. As he slipped through the darkness his eyes fluttered and the world changed again, he was in a room. No, not just any room. He was in her room, Rose's room. Then it hit him, the pain. Oh god the pain, it was so thick in his lungs and his hearts. No not his hearts, his heart. He was John Smith and he wasn't some Time Lord! It was make believe! He wasn't a doctor, he wasn't the Doctor, he was a professor! He pulled himself out of his dream and shot straight up. A small layer of sweat was right over his face, it was still dark outside._

 _John Smith lit a candle, grabbed his journal, and began to write. He drew the girl over and over, He drew her until he was sure he would remember every feature on her face. She stared right up at him, her whiskey coloured eyes were shaded in gray. His hearts thumped with joy at her smiling face, he beamed at his work and smiled down at the girl. But when he turned the page he fell back, right out of his seat. It was the same girl, but she had changed. Her eyes were sharp, tears ran down her face, she held a glow. He had drawn her so many times he just forgot. How could he forget this? Her eyes burned, an aura hung around her, she shone. The words 'Bad Wolf' were written all over the page. Then he heard it._

" _I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here." He shook his head, he was sleep deprived. That was all this was, not enough sleep. Then his back arched and his head exploded in pain. He opened his eyes and he saw her, not in a dream. He really saw her, standing right in front of him. He reached his arm out to her and she turned to him. Her eyes weren't the same whiskey colour he remembered, and her voice sounded different. Like it was someone else's entirely._ _ **The Time Vortex**_ _. He thought the words without even realizing it._

" _I want you safe, My Doctor." She said, and then John Smith watched the woman burst into a ball of golden light. He watched her die, or leave, he wasn't sure. Rose was gone, the loss rang throughout his entire body. It echoed inside the hollow of his chest and he wasn't sure he would survive without her. How could a woman he never even met mean so much?_

 _ **Because you do know her, Doctor, and you love her as well.**_

 _The thought wasn't his, but somehow it was. It was spoken in a language he had never heard yet understood perfectly. John Smith, or perhaps the Doctor, collapsed onto the floor and fell asleep. And for the first time since arriving here, he didn't have a single dream._

* * *

Rose and the new Doctor were settling into her parent's home quite nicely. They shared a room, not because they were doing anything inappropriate the Doctor reminded himself. They shared a room because they had both been through similar traumatizing events was all. That was the only reason. Also they were officially a couple. He did his honest best to hide it, but he loved the slow life. All the time he used to run run run and now, he could just stop. He could just stop everything and look at her. She was his everything, twenty-four hours a day and seven days a week. She was his sun and moon and universe all in one. He didn't miss the stars, not even in the slightest.

He called to one of his favorite memories of her while he was waiting in their bed. Their bed, he liked the sound of that. Pete had asked if they wanted separate rooms or at least separate beds, but the two had refused. They both had nightmares that only the other one could understand, and so the elder Tylers didn't mention it. While he was lounging on the bed and thinking of the past Pete walked into the room.

"So Doctor, we need to chat." Pete said kind of awkwardly. When the Doctor tried to ask a question Pete shook his head, "Let me continue, me and Jackie need our room, and so do you and Rose. I think it's time the two of you move out." The Doctor went bug eyed, was he going to have to get a mortgage? He liked the slow life but oh Rassilon not that much.

"Uh.. yeah, yeah I s'pose I see your point." The Doctor stammered out, even though he most certainly did not see the point. Everyone got along very well to his perspective. "Where should we go?" He questioned.

"Oh yeah, right. Well I never did get you a 'welcome to this universe gift' and I feel like that's kinda some sort of big deal. I mean it's not every day that something happens. Anyways me and Jackie wanted to really welcome you and so.." He trailed off and fiddled with his pocket before pulling out a key. "Welcome home Doctor." The Doctor bursted out laughing.

"She's got you wrapped right around her finger!" The Doctor laughed even harder and Pete joined in. They were gasping for breath by the time their two minute fit was over. When he regained his composure the Doctor continued, "I genuinely can't thank you enough for letting us stay here and providing us with this new home." Pete shot him a grin.

"Of course and I suppo-"

"Oi! Doctor can you throw me my clothes? I left 'em on the chair" Pete chuckled and handed him a second key.

"You should tell her. 119 fourth street, the blue one." The Doctor shot him a huge smile which Pete returned before walking out of the room. He picked up Rose's pile of clothes and pushed open the bathroom door, keeping his head down out of respect of course, he then set the clothes on the counter right next to her necklace. _Her necklace._ It was a small silver chain with a key on it, he recognized it immediately. It was the key to the TARDIS. He smiled softly and saw her poke her head out of the shower curtain, she had no makeup on and her hair was dripping with soap.

"Thanks." She said and ducked back behind the curtain. The Doctor walked out of the room and sat back down on the bed. He wasn't sure how she'd take the news. He pulled out one of the devices provided by his job at Torchwood and searched the address. It was a house? He assumed it would be a crappy flat, but this was a house. He clicked through the place, two bedrooms and two and a half baths. Why would there be two and a half baths? The Doctor was curious, however humans were one of those species with peculiar ways of stating things. He was about to look through some pictures of the interior when Rose stepped out of the bathroom, he slammed the computer shut. How had he not heard the water turn off? Rose looked at him and her eyebrows furrowed. What was he up to?

"Got something you'd like to share?" She asked while pointing at the computer. He turned a light pink and looked at the floor.

"It's uh.. A surprise? Yeah, a surprise." He chuckled and tucked the computer into his backpack, "And you'll just have to wait to find out." He teased her, well aware of the hatred she had for surprises.

"That's not fair! Doctor we have to go to work and then I'll have to wait all day!" She begged him. "Please." Her head turned and she gave him her most convincing puppy dog eyes. He spun around and refused to look at her.

"Your tricks don't work if I'm not looking at you, mademoiselle." He closed his eyes tightly and placed his hands over them. She took the opportunity presented and went up behind him quietly.

"Are you sure 'bout that." She whispered and he flinched, she held back a laugh as he opened his eyes and pouted. She stood on her tiptoes and looked him right in the eyes. "Please." She said again. He shook his head defiantly and she angled her head and kissed him lightly.

"That is so not fair Rose Tyler." He groaned and she giggled, he should just surrender now. But he was the Doctor, never give up and never surrender. He pulled away and she grabbed his jacket and kissed him again. He grumbled under his breath about her using him before succumbing and dragging her even closer. It took about thirty seconds for Rose to realize she was being played.

"You're such a wanker!" She exclaimed and pushed him away. He laughed at the fact it took her so long to catch on.

"Took you a bit, I always forget I am kinda good at this." He shoots her a grin while he straightened his tie, the one that she had pulled out of his jacket mind you, and ran a hand through his hair. She touched his hair lightly and then ruffled up to his dismay. "Oi! What's that for?" She chuckled at his crazy looking hair and upset expression.

"Two can play that game if you want to break the rules." He sulked into the bathroom and waited for about ten seconds before realizing he didn't want to wait to see her any longer than necessary. He strolled out of the bathroom and pulled on his pre-tied converse. She clutched his hand and they walked out the door.

"I haven't forgot ya know." She said looking up at him.

"I know." He replied as he struggled to suppress the smile on his face.

"Then you know that I can make your day completely impossible." She said before shooting him an enormous smile. He could feel his heart melt under her gaze. She truly did have that power.

"I also know that you have work to do today, you're on the team for that raid I thought." He played the only card he had, the one where she wasn't in the office.

"It was pushed off to next week, you've got to deal with me right next to you." She stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "All day." He knew he would be powerless if she really wanted to find out, so he made a snap decision.

"We're gonna grab a cuppa on the way in, okay? I'll tell you then." He wiggled his eyebrows and she giggled and nodded, confirming their plans. They walked downstairs and through the front door. The Doctor walked towards the car that had been provided by Torchwood, the government paid damn well to have an alien and the Bad Wolf on staff. He walked around the car and opened the door for Rose, she stepped in and sat down on the seat while he went into the driver's seat. They pulled out of the driveway and started driving the wrong way, but, much to the Doctor's surprise, Rose remained silent. He hummed quietly for the fifteen minute car ride. They turned into a driveway that led up to a modest blue house that had white shutters. Rose looked at the Doctor with no idea what was going on. He got out of the car and she followed suit. She looked him deep in the eyes and he pulled a key out of his pocket before placing it gently into her hand.

"Allons-y Miss Tyler." He said quietly while Rose stared at her palm and, more importantly, the key that lay on it. She stepped forward and put the key into the doorknob, twisted it, and opened the door. She took in a deep breath and turned to the Doctor.

"Are you for serious?" It was the first time he had heard her voice since before the car ride here. He smiled down at her.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"For serious?!" She almost yelled, the excitement was thick in her voice. He nodded at her and she ran into his arms. He hugged her so tight that even the Daleks couldn't pull them apart. After about 30 seconds he pulled back. He took her hand and they walked into their new home, together, just like he promised.

* * *

" _I believe.. I believe I haven't seen everything, I don't know. It's funny, isn't it? The things you make up. The rules. If that thing had said it came from beyond the universe, I'd believe it, but before the universe? Impossible. Doesn't fit my rule. Still, that's why I keep travelling. To be proved wrong. Thank you, Ida."_

" _Don't go!" She begged the man._

" _If they get back in touch, if you talk to Rose, just tell her." Ida looked at the man who was so clearly in love, "Tell her... Oh, she knows." She would've slapped him had he not just unclipped his belt and fell into a potentially bottomless chasm. How could he leave behind his girlfriend or wife or whatever the couple was without even saying goodbye? She felt the sinking feeling in her stomach, people that don't say goodbyes are the ones who have been in situations like this before. People who don't say goodbyes to the ones they love are damaged, they're broken. Worst of all, she knew that Rose would understand him leaving without telling her. Ida knew that this wasn't the first time they'd done something like this and it broke her heart to think of the couple being forced apart. She heard a crackling from the radio._

" _Doctor, are you there? Doctor, Ida, can you hear me?" Ida's heart dropped, how was she to explain to Rose what he had done. "Are you there, Doctor?" She couldn't just leave the woman unanswered, Rose deserved to know what had happened to him. She picked up the radio._

" _He's gone." It was all she could say._

" _What do you mean, he's gone?" She asked it so innocently. Ida swallowed as she knew what she was about to say wouldn't be easy. How could she tell Rose that he'd jumped into near certain death? How could she be the one to tear them apart? The love that she saw in both of their eyes, if it truly came to life and death, Rose should have been the last one to see it. Rose should've heard his last words, not her._

" _He fell into the pit. And I don't know how deep it is. Miles and miles and miles." She prayed that Rose wouldn't press more questions, she didn't want to tell her how he had jumped. She didn't want her to know that he had done it for her, even if he didn't say it out loud, it was evident. For the adventure was his cover story, he needed to make sure that she was safe._

" _But what do you mean, he fell?" Rose demanded to know, Ida had to be holding something back. The doctor doesn't just fall into chasms, he's reckless but not that reckless._

" _I couldn't stop him. He said your name." Rose was near frozen until Zach reached over for the radio. She handed it to him._

" _I'm sorry." He whispered, knowing the loss she'd suffered. His dark eyes shone with empathy. "Ida? There's no way of reaching you. No cable, No back up. You're ten miles down. We can't get there." The words were heavy, they carried the weight of that woman's life as she sat, trapped like a rat in a trap._

" _You should see this place, Zach. It's beautiful. Well, I wanted to discover things, and here I am." She choked back tears as she stared into the beautiful, abandoned place. The walkways that crossed back and forth and the light fell on them and into the depths below. Pillars rose behind her and there was that stain on the beauty. That hole the Doctor went into destroyed the near perfect image._

" _We've got to abandon the base. I'm declaring this mission unsafe. All we can do is make sure no one ever comes here again." The anger in his voice was so strong, he hated this place. He hated everything about what was happening and he hated that he couldn't stop it. His words froze Ida, if no one ever came here, that would mean her death was for nothing._

" _But we'll never find out what it was." She stated, how could he let her die without knowing._

" _Well, maybe that's best." It only took the four words to make Ida realize she was going to die for trying to find out. He was right, it was best no one ever came here again._

" _Yeah." She tried to hold her voice steady, clenching her teeth together._

" _Officer Sc-"_

" _It's all right. Just go. Good luck." The words were labored. She was trying her best to cover the pain of being left behind, but she didn't dare risk the lives of the others for her own. She knew what her chance were coming down here and she went anyways. She had dug her grave, now it was time she crawled in and sleep in it._

" _And you." He set the radio back where it belonged and paused for a moment before regaining his composure as captain. "Danny, Toby, close down the feed links. Get the retrotropes online, then get to the rocket and strap yourselves in. We're leaving." The boys scurried to movement and Rose made her decision._

" _I'm not going." She said, her voice didn't waver. Three pairs of incredulous eyes turned to her._

" _Rose, there's space for you." Zach assured her, although there hadn't been at first now with Ida gone.. She would be able to fit without an issue. Rose knew he wouldn't understand._

" _No, I'm going to wait for the Doctor. Just like he waited for me." Her undying loyalty had always been the thing to get her screwed over, now it was going to kill her. She knew it was stupid, but how could she leave him behind?_

" _I'm sorry, but he's dead." He tried to explain, he knew she must be in some sort of denial. They had learned about grief in primary school, this must be the first stage. He knew he had to reason with her or else it would turn to making more drastic measures._

" _You don't know him. 'Cause he's not. I'm telling you, he's not. And even if he was, how could I leave him all on his own, all the way down there?" Her voice cracked with emotion at the thought of him being dead and she looked at the floor, but she felt a second wave of strength hit her and she looked him right in the eyes. "No, I'm going to stay." Her voice was resolute and her decision couldn't be changed. Her eyes gleamed with a passion and her hair stuck to her lip gloss, she would've made the Doctor proud, and possibly blush. He nodded and knew what he had to do._

" _Then I apologise for this. Danny, Toby? Make her secure." The words had barely left his mouth by the time Rose felt her arms being grabbed by the two men. Panic gripped her heart and she started to fight._

" _No, no. No! No! No! Let me go! Get off me! I'm not leaving!" She screamed and fought the men off of her, Zach grabbed her arm and injected her with a sedative. She passed out instantly._

" _I have lost too many people. I am not leaving you behind. Let's get her on board." His voice was strong with his loss and his own painful choice. He had taken away her wish to stay with him. He had dragged her away from the man she loved, but he couldn't think about that right now. He flipped her up onto his shoulder and walked towards the spaceship._

* * *

"Oi! Quit taking pictures of me. Rose it isn't funny. I just thought maybe you'd like it. Rose!" He put his hand over his face but she stepped to the side and took some more. He charged her and lifted her up at the waist as she began laughing at an uncontrollable rate.

"Put me down! Give me back my Doctor you blue jean wearing imposter! Put me do-" She was cut off as he threw her onto the couch and wrestled the phone from her. The second he had it he ran over to the bathroom and locked the door. He began clicking through the photos she had taken. His eyes twinkled with amusement at the one she had taken from behind. "Don't you dare delete them!" She yelled through the door and he heard the knob make some sort of clicking noise. He went through a few more of her pictures and paused as a text popped up, 'Rose. TW Getlind. Now.' He paused, the door flew open and he clicked off the text.

"How in bloody hell did you?" He stared at the door, he was sure he had locked it upon entering. She ran up and grabbed the phone out of his hand.

"I grew up on the estate, you learn things." She said with a half shrug, "This one is going to be my new background." She showed him the one of him turning around and shooting her a bemused look. She hit a few buttons and showed him the new setup, changed from the previous one of the two making fish faces at an aquarium. She changed it about once a week to some new picture of either the Doctor or the two of them together. Upon looking through her notifications her eyes sank in recognition.

"My mum messaged me, we're gonna go shopping for Tony. I'll be back in a bit." She gave him a huge smile and bolted out the door. Why was she lying to him? Rose never lied to him, not unless someone else was telling her to. He sat down on the couch and thought of all the things she could be hiding. Was she seeing someone else? Fury flashed through his entire body as he took three seconds to dismiss the thought. She wouldn't, they were happy. They were Rose Tyler and the Doctor and in this world that was the happy couple in the blue house that worked at Torchwood. _Torchwood_. Tw. From the message! How could he be so stupid not to pick up on it earlier? They were always put on projects together. Rose wouldn't lie to him about something as dumb as a project, would she? He decided that waiting would just make it worse and he had some files to pick up anyways, but as he was about to walk out the door his head screamed in pain. He dropped to the floor in pain. He heard wailing like a banshee and he covered his ears with his screaming got even louder, and then louder until he finally succumbed to it and passed out on the floor.

When Rose returned to their house about six hours later she opened the door and walked into the dim room. She turned to the left and flipped on the light switch, she was about to hang up her coat and the keys when she saw him. She dropped to the floor and shook him roughly.

"Doctor? Doctor!" She screamed, losing all control as tears poured out of her eyes. "No, no no no you don't get to do this, not to me." She pulled him into her lap and put slid her hand down his shirt, upon placing it over his heart she found his heart rate to be a little slow but otherwise normal. He seemed to be breathing at an average pace too. His eyes blinked open and Rose let out a huge sigh.

"Never do that again, you hear?" She pulled him impossibly close and he shot her a confused look. "You alright?" She questioned him as he pulled himself into a sitting position. When he tried to stand he staggered and fell to the ground, Rose tried to support him but ultimately ended up with the Doctor half on top of her. She grabbed underneath his arms and pulled him up. She held about half of his weight and together they dragged him slowly towards their bedroom. Upon finally reaching the bed, Rose took off his converse, suit jacket, suit pants, tie and button down shirt. She looked at him with concern.

"You alright?" She repeated the question that he hadn't answered the first time. He looked at the ceiling and then closed his eyes. Rose began to change into her pajamas.

"Yeah, I just got some awful awful headache. I don't even know what brought it on, just sort of hit." He explained with a shrug, Rose seemed content with the answer. Headaches happened to everyone she assured herself. She crawled into the bed and lay next to him, her head on his chest and his hand in her hair.

"What were you doing this afternoon?" It didn't sound like a question. She really didn't want to answer him, she didn't want to have to lie.

"What do you mean?" She murmured quietly. Maybe he just wanted to know the stores she and her mum went to, she hoped that was all.

"I mean why are you telling me that you're going baby shopping when you're really going into the office on a Sunday afternoon for Rassilon knows how long." Her heart skipped a beat, she knew she wouldn't have been able to keep the secret for long but she had hoped. She pulled away from him and he automatically regretting taking an offensive stance. He felt his skin prick up with goosebumps at the cold feeling she had left behind.

"It's nothing really, I'm just on a classified assignment that you aren't a part of. That's why I couldn't tell you." She explained quickly and hoped he would just stop asking questions. She was under an oath that she couldn't reveal anything to him, but if he played the right cards she knew she would crack.

"Why am I not on this assignment? Why are you? What are you doing Rose? We promised each other that there would be no lies." She felt her heart fall and suddenly she wasn't attached to anything. She knew that she had let herself fall off the deep end with this mission. Pete had pulled her aside one day and showed her a picture of what they had seen, it was some alien that no one recognized, except for Rose. Pete had showed her the picture before the Doctor knowing she had jumped through more universes the either of them could count. Her eyes had widened at the sight of the aliens. She did recognize them, _the Silence_. Fear gripped her heart and she nodded at him, agreeing to the mission silently.

"It's classified." She offered lamely.

"Damnit Rose!" He jumped out of bed and knocked his glasses case off the nightstand. She flinched violently at the noise and he took three deep breaths. "Are you safe?" He looked at her and tears fell from her eyes for the second time this day. The sight humbled him, the woman he loved in sweatpants and a T-shirt with mascara trailing down her cheeks. He dropped onto the bed and scooped her up into his arms. She sobbed openly.

"It was these things I saw in one of the other universes. I don't know ho-" She froze and her skin turned pale white. The Doctor's eyes darkened.

"What do you mean by one of the other universes?" He stressed the 's' at the end of universes. She knew in her heart that she had screwed up really bad. She had worked so hard to hide the pain she had gone through to find him, or the other him, and now he knew. He knew because she had slipped up. How could she have been so stupid? Hundreds of suppressed memories fought their way to the forefront of her brain. More tears fell down her cheeks and she held onto his white t-shirt. It was a death grip.

"Please, don't leave. I didn't want to hurt you." The words rushed through her mouth and she tasted salt from the tear tracks on his face. The Doctor did all he could to comfort her, but he didn't know what he was trying to make her feel safe from. He held her so close to his chest they would merge if there was one atom less of air between them. She buried her face into his chest and he felt the tears sink through his shirt. She took multiple deep breaths before looking back up to him and reaching a hand into his hair. She pet the locks of spiky hair and was awed, as she always was, at the extreme softness. It always seemed to calm her down, she inhaled his scent and felt every piece of her existence relax immensely. He looked at her with questioning eyes, not about the ritual that she always used to calm down, he was used to that by now, he wanted to know about the other universes.

"Tell me everything." It was a whisper, it was a demand, and it was a plead. She broke.

"When Davros' reality bomb went off the walls of the universe became weaker, that you know. But it wasn't just your universe. All of them, every single one got weaker. With the stars going out it gave us the edge that we needed to get through to you, but we didn't know where to start. I would hop through universes, I had a half an hour every time to look through. There's this energy that you feel, I didn't know about it until I finally got back into the right universe. Maybe it's the artron that's in me from being Bad Wolf, but the second I was there I could feel it. I could hear the TARDIS singing to me the second I got back. We had to tweak the dimension hopper though. Every day I would make about twenty hops, it was so exhausting. It was a cheap rip off compared to the TARDIS, it felt like dying. You would get ripped apart atom by atom and dropped somewhere new. Occasionally where I went would be safe, but more often than not it wasn't. Some of the things I saw.. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone in the world, not anyone. I had to see people die. I had to hold people as they died. I had been hopping for about six months when we had managed to narrow it down to about a million or so universes. We dropped the time to fifteen minutes and I made fifty jumps a day. I started sleeping at Torchwood, any free time I had was spent sleeping. I was so tired. It took two years. Two years of all those awful things, I wouldn't have survived much longer. Then I found it, the right universe. The TARDIS took all the exhaustion out of me and renewed my will to fight. I don't know how she knew so fast that I had been in pain but she did. It was harder though, I had to find you and sometimes the best way I could do that was through a TV or Donna. They couldn't up the time to more than one hour out of fear that I wouldn't be able to be drawn back to their universe. Then I realized what was happening in my old universe and I told them to get rid of the time limit. So I found him and he gave me you." She looked into his eyes, they were filled with regret. She touched the short stubble on his jaw. "This isn't your fault." He pulled away from her and turned his head.

"How can you say that?" He looked back at her and she saw the tears rolling down his cheeks. "How can you say that to me after everything you did to find me?" She wiped the tears from his cheeks and his heart jumped as her eyes glowed a light gold.

"Because I wanted you safe, my Doctor. I have always wanted you safe. I have always loved you." He couldn't comprehend the intensity he saw in her eyes.

"And I love you, my Bad Wolf." Her eyes toned down to the beautiful brown they originally were and he grinned at her. "Rose Tyler."

"Oh shut up and kiss me."

* * *

" _The rocket." He knew it would be best if Rose was on it, but he couldn't help but hope that she had stayed with him. He tried his radio but it made some crackling noises, he looked at a wall and inspected it with his light. The paintings told a story of sorts. "The history of some big battle. Man against Beast. I don't know if you're getting this, Ida. Hope so. Anyway, they defeated the Beast and imprisoned it." He noticed the two urns on the painting, they were right in front of the beast. He turned around and saw two identical urns resting on pedestals._

" _Maybe that's the key." He half mumbled, his eyes then lit up. He had that same look he always had when he thought he was being clever. Mouth slightly open, eyes twinkling with pride, Rose had fallen in love with that look. He reached out and touched one of the urns and it began to glow, the other one did the same. "Or the gate, or the bars." He heard labored breathing and turned, astonished. It was, no, it couldn't be. It was this beast, chained to a wall. Every picture of a man holding a pitchfork dressed in red was modeled after this original copy. Its horns alone must have been thirty feet long with cuffs around each one, chaining it to the wall. The Doctor could only stare as it stood up to its full height and growled in his face, the chains that wrapped around its left wrist clanged. The crooked teeth were sharp like daggers, its eyes were as dead and lifeless as rocks. Not the rocks on Hectillio, the rocks on earth, which was a common and unfortunate misconception. He had to remind himself to focus on his task at hand._

" _I accept that you exist. I don't have to accept what you are, but you're physical existence, I'll give you that. I don't understand. I was expected down here. I was given a safe landing and air. You need me for something. What for? Have I got to, I don't know, beg an audience? Or is there a ritual? Some sort of incantation or summons or spell? All these things I don't believe in, are they real? Speak to me! Tell me! You won't talk. Or you can't talk. Oh, hold on, wait a minute, just let me. Oh! No. Yes! No." The beast was growing impatient and had lunged at the Doctor mid speech, the only thing that held him back were those thick cuffs and this time both of the chains rang out loudly. The Doctor Searched his brain for some explanation as to why the beast couldn't speak. "Think it through. You spoke before. I heard your voice. An intelligent voice. No, more than that. Brilliant. But, looking at you now, all I can see is Beast. The animal. Just the body. You're just the body, the physical form. What's happened to your mind, hmm? Where's it gone? Where's that intelligence? Oh, no." The pieces of the puzzle fell into place and the Doctor looked up to where he had heard the rocket before. He hoped more than ever that Rose had been as blindingly faithful as usual and had not gotten on that ship. He went through every possible thought process to somehow tell him what could have caused this._

" _You're imprisoned, long time ago. Before the universe, after, sideways, in between, doesn't matter. The prison is perfect. It's absolute, it's eternal. Oh, yes! Open the prison, the gravity field collapses. This planet falls into the black hole! You escape, you die. Brilliant!" He loved how smart people could be sometimes, but the realization sunk in. "But that's just the body. The body is trapped, that's all. The devil is an idea. In all those civilisations, just an idea. But an idea is hard to kill. An idea could escape. The mind. The mind of the great Beast. The mind can escape! Oh, but that's it! You didn't give me air, your jailers did. They set this up all those years ago! They need me alive, because if you're escaping, then I've got to stop you." He leaped in the air and ran over to grab a rock, it was the Doctor saving the day as per usual._

" _If I destroy your prison, your body is destroyed. Your mind with it." He loved it when he figured out the solution, then he got to brag about being clever. He lifted the rock above his head and was about to smash it, the beast roaring the background out of anger, when he thought of the rocket. He turned back to the beast and dropped the rock. He looked at it and couldn't even begin to think of the loss that was about to occur. His eyes which were once full of excitement now flashed with pain and confusion. What was he supposed to do?_

" _But then you're clever enough to use this whole system against me. If I destroy this planet, I destroy the gravity field. The rocket. The rocket loses protection and falls into the black hole. I have to sacrifice Rose." He hated the words. He hated the idea. He hated this universe! And he hated every other universe and everything that ever was and never was and never could be and always would be. He hated it all. Except for her, he always loved her. He touched the urn and the beast laughed._

" _So, that's the trap. Or the test, or the final judgment, I don't know. But if I kill you, I kill her." But that wasn't him, and that wasn't Rose. It wasn't in their blood. The beast laughed as he struggled to find some way out of this, some cheat. Then he just pictured her, saw her over and over. Every time he saw her and committed the image to memory came to mind, his love sparked. He knew what he had to do. "Except that implies in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods, and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing, just one thing, I believe in her." His voice was so thick with undeniable emotion and faith and trust that not even the devil himself could have doubted it. He picked up the rock and smashed both the urns while the beast roared and spat fire._

" _This is your freedom. Free to die. You're going into that black hole and I'm riding with you." The beast growled even louder and the Doctor hissed sarcastically back at it. The beast began to set aflame even more and the Doctor knew it was time to run. He tried to get away hum it hurled some sort of steam at him and knocked him into a wall. It felt oddly familiar and he looked up to see her, the TARDIS. He laughed and ran into the ship, time to do what the Doctor does best, save the day._

 _He piloted the ship and dragged Ida into it and then went over to the falling rocket, the planet was already gone. He wouldn't have time to save both the rocket and the Ood. He grabbed the rocket and began dragging them away from the planet. He linked into their radio controls and sent his voice through the intercom. "Sorry about the hijack, Captain. This is the good ship Tardis. Now, first thing's first. Have you got a Rose Tyler on board?" Rose grinned so wide she thought her cheeks might rip. He had done it, by god he had really done it. And he said she came first, which might have also contributed to the smile._

" _I'm here! It's me! Oh, my God. Where are you?" She yelled almost giddy with joy._

" _I'm just towing you home. Gravity schmavity. My people practically invented black holes. Well, in fact, they did. In a couple of minutes, we'll be nice and safe. Oh, and Captain? Can we do a swap? Say, if you give me Rose Tyler, I'll give you Ida Scott? How about that?" He smiled at the intercom. He was going to get her back. The rest of the short time was a blur, but when that door opened. When he finally saw her, right in front of him, safe and sound, the pressure that was previously so tight around his hearts just released. His eyes shone and he ran towards her. However there was still that inkling the beast had placed in his head._

 _ **And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon.**_

 _He wanted to say that he believed it to be trickery, deceit, he even told Rose that's what he thought. Part of him just couldn't believe that, part of him knew that it was right. He couldn't tell her, he couldn't do that to her. It didn't matter, he wouldn't let her die. Not the Bad Wolf, not his Rose._

" _Hang on though, Doctor. You never really said. You two, who are you?"_

" _Oh" He looked at Rose, "Stuff of legends."_

* * *

Rose nodded at the Doctor and walked into the room, Pete wasn't officially aware that the Doctor knew but he was pretty sure. I mean when he walked her to the classified intelligence room without asking one question, which was extremely unlike him, especially when it pertained to Rose, it wasn't that hard to tell. He stared at the door long after they had closed it. He knew he couldn't reach her through it but it seemed to be his last saving grace, his last piece of her. She had told him that they were working with an alien called the silence. She said she had seen them before, in a few different universes. She was the only one who had any experience with them, so of course it would only make sense that she would be put as head of the mission. It would also only make sense that the Doctor wasn't put on the mission as any thought of Rose being in danger sent him into an all out frenzy of anger. It was even worse now that they were official and she had told him about the dimension hopping, she had told him about every person she had tried to help and everyone she couldn't save. He never had someone that could completely understand the pain that he was constantly going through, not until now, not until Rose. He could only hope that she would be safe. He knew that he would have fought harder about being put on the mission, but over the past month that headache had spiraled into something much worse. He was in pain, all the time, it never ended. He turned away from the door and looked down at the floor, the pain was immense. He walked down a corridor and sat at his desk, one minute took three hours and three hours took one minute. He had no idea how much time had passed by the time Rose walked up to his desk. He knew that he had accomplished nothing at work all day. She knocked on his head and showed him the keys to the car. When he didn't respond she waved her hand in front of his eyes and gave him a concerned look.

"Doctor!" She knew that something had been up with him lately, but it just kept getting worse. He looked right passed her sometimes, he was out of it, she would walk into a room and he'd just be staring at a wall. It was like he was slipping through the cracks. There was that same magic a lot of the times, but it was hard to explain. She knew that he still loved her, but he acted strange about twenty-five percent of the time. Maybe she just needed to focus on him more, that had to be it. When she had helped the first Doctor she had all of her attention was on him. The first time he was the center of her world. Of course he still was now, but she had a job. The silence were in this world and she needed to defend earth right now. The second that this mission was over they would take some time off. The raid was tommorow anyways and she intended to have the silence gone by the end of it. After the raid she would fix him, after the raid she would have the time to do what she had done all those years ago. Save the Doctor, the way she always did.

"Yeah, yeah 'm sorry, let's go." He spat out the words quickly before gathering his stuff in a hurry, dropping three files all over the floor. All the sudden the pain meds he had taken earlier seemed to kick in and he shot to action. Rose knelt down and the couple picked up the papers together, he looked up at her and she paused to look at him. They both grinned and finished gathering everything. Upon standing up Rose slipped her hand into the Doctor's and they walked out the door of Torchwood and into the car. The clock on the dashboard read 6:26 and he checked to see if the blonde was wearing a seatbelt before pulling out.

"Where do you want to go to eat?" He asked her. They usually got food when they left work after five. Mostly because Rose was awful at cooking and the Doctor could never concentrate if she was next to him and they weren't in work with the world depending on them. It made dinner with the parents slightly uncomfortable and very amusing. Rose thought through their options before deciding what she wanted.

"What about tacos?" The Doctor groaned. "You asked!" She exclaimed and he grinned.

"We've had tacos two times this week and it's only Wednesday. What about sushi?" She made a face.

"And eat fish that aren't even cooked?" She stuck out her tongue. "No thank you."

"Rose I watched you drink a smoothie from the year, I'd say about 200,000 that you said tasted like beef. Then proceeded to say wasn't 'that bad.' Are you seriously that against sushi?" It was a valid point and Rose huffed in agreement. The Doctor grinned and took the next left, "Allons-y!"

"Again with french?" She shot him an exasperated look.

"Je suis désolé" He said proudly.

"Okay, some of us don't have half Time Lord brains that can remember insane amounts of languages!" She said slightly annoyed.

"Oh I know you're selling yourself short. You know exactly what I said, don't lie. You think I didn't see all the language books you keep stashed under your desk?" He pointed out.

"Bien, j'abandonner." She threw up her hands in defeat. She kind of hated the fact that he knew that. Not that it's a bad thing, her wanting to know more languages, it was just odd.

"Brilliant." His eyes were full of admiration and something else, something darker. "We're here." He pointed to the restaurant and she blinked to break the stare she had been previously holding on his eyes. He grinned at her slightly flustered face. "Am I that dashing?" He said and poked her in the side, chuckling softly.

"That's not it, it's just.. You're just. Oh shut up!" She exclaimed as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. When she tried to continue he gave her the biggest puppy dog look he could manage. "Do you really want to play this game with me Doctor? Who do you think is going to win." She gave him a look. He was up for something to distract him from his head, even though it wasn't that bad at the moment, it was still there. He pointed at his chest. She was the best distraction.

"Is that so?" He nodded and grinned. She unbuckled her seat belt and crawled across the car and into his lap. "How about now?" He just smiled wider. She leaned right into his face like she was going to snog him and he moved towards her. Then, in one quick move, she opened the door of the car and stepped out of the way. These actions left the Doctor slightly upset and craving his Rose.

"What's that for? Oh come one that's not fair! That's not fair!" He complained and unfastened his seatbelt grumbling about her being a tease. She reached for his hand and he naturally reached out for hers as well, only to grasp empty space. She had pulled her hand away! Oh if that was how she wanted to play this then that was how he would play. He grabbed her by the waist and forced her face right close to his, she laughed quietly but the second they made eye contact she stopped. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, but only once before pulling away and walking towards the shop. It took every ounce of self restraint he had not to go back to her.

"Rose they aren't open all day, let's go." He couldn't help but grin at her very unpleased expression. "What's the matter? Are you feeling ill? Perhaps you need a Doctor?" She ran up next to him but made sure not to touch him.

"Nah I'm fine, but you should make sure you don't have rabies." He shot her a confused look,

"Well last I checked when wolves get angry, they bite. You are the one running around kissing them, aren't you?" His eyes grew, he thought she had forgotten their first kiss but maybe not. Oh what he wouldn't give to live in her head for a while. He would love to know every thought she had, well maybe not every thought. But he wanted to know most and would deal with the others.

"Rose Tyler." She wasn't sure if it was loving or warning.

"You're the one who's saying they're gonna close, c'mon let's go." He opened the door and she walked in, blonde hair slightly ruffled and jeans skimming the floor. When he was gazing at the back of her head and she was about three meters in front of him she turned around and pointed forward. He snapped up his head and walked quickly to meet her stride. A man stood behind a counter smiled at them and gestured to a sign that read, 'Please seat yourself.' The Doctor grinned at Rose, he loved when he could convince her to do something new. Also this mouth loved sushi so that was a perk about getting her to go. They chose a table that was right next to the window and Rose looked out at the sunset.

"You haven't made any plans for tomorrow, correct?" She gave him a small smile, tomorrow was their four month anniversary. She shook her head. "Good, don't make any please. I have a surprise." Her eyes sparked with excitement, then they died down. A waiter dumped two menus on the table before racing off to make his next rounds.

"You're going to make me wait an entire day." He gave her a smirk. "C'mon I want to know now." She frowned at him, she was about to continue complaining and potentially begging when the waiter came around.

"Have you decided what you want to order?" Rose shot the Doctor a terrified look.

"Do you want me to order for you?" He asked and she nodded, much to his delight. "We'll have one california roll, one philadelphia roll, two orders of miso soup and a shrimp maki, thank you." He grabbed Rose's menu and handed it to the waiter along with his own.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your order." He spun on his heel and walked away.

"Can you please tell me!" She asked.

"You're just going to have to wait and see."

* * *

 _He ran his tongue over his teeth one more time and ran a hand through his hair. The hair, by Rassilon he had a lot of hair. The Doctor was fiddling with some sort of part that the TARDIS was not happy about. She spat hot steam in his face._

" _Oi! What's that for?" She hummed in the back of his head, some sort of warning. Then she flashed him an image of Rose. A grin flew across his face, but why was she warning him? He recalled the image of her, hair pulled halfway into a purple hat and smile stretched across her face. The TARDIS gave him another hum of warning before he heard a bloody murder scream. He dropped his sonic screwdriver and took off towards her room. He ignored the loud noise of protest that came from the TARDIS as he threw open the door. This was his second day in this regeneration and he needed to prove himself to Rose. He saw her, alone on her bed, and suddenly he felt rather foolish. She was just having a nightmare, he wasn't supposed to be in her room. She sat straight up, eyes wide with fear before the realization sunk in that it was him, her Doctor._

" _I'm sorry, s'just a night terror." She yawned and he smiled at her adorable bed head. He almost couldn't control his own actions as he walked towards her. He sat on the corner of her bed and she gave him a look._

" _What?" He asked and she began to smile. "No seriously what? Is there something on my face? Did the TARDIS do this?" She bust out into a full on laugh and his worry sank to the least important one of his emotions. Something stronger rose through his hearts, it was love and lust and passion. The Doctor could feel the hormones pumping through his system just due to being near her. The realization dawned on him, it was the only thing that made sense, this body was designed just for her. He flashed back to the image of himself, he was rather dashing. This body had truly been made for her. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that fact._

" _I was just thinking that I scared the life out of some alien not two minutes ago." She giggled and he beamed, knowing he was the butt of the joke._

" _You did not scare me!" He shot back defensively._

" _Yeah, tell that to the man who just tore in here like a bat out of hell." He was about to protest but he began to shiver. "Are you cold? Do Time Lords get cold?" She pondered aloud before scooting over and offering him room next to him on the bed. He knew he shouldn't have but he couldn't restrain himself and he rushed up before crawling underneath the covers._

" _Oh! My apologies, almost forgot." He shoved his hand under the blankets and fought to yank his converse off before throwing them onto the floor. She gave him a slightly annoyed and slightly adoring look. "I said I was sorry." He mumbled before laying with his head on one of her pillows, her smell lavished the room and he basked in it. It occurred to him him the awkwardness of the situation as they both laid on the bed still as boards looking at the ceiling. He didn't know how to make the situation less uncomfortable, it was something he had never dealt with before._

" _Doctor?" She mumbled, half asleep. He hummed softly in response. "Do you mind if I go closer in the middle, It's really cold over here. Don't know why, it's strange." The temperature on the TARDIS had never been a problem before. He sent the machine a dubious tone through his mind about the temperature and it seemed to only get colder._

" _Yeah, it's your bed." He chuckled and they both shifted towards the center. It was a small bed but the small space between them felt like an infinite amount. He made the final move and put his arm around her, dragging her in subtly. Well, maybe not quite that subtly, but Rose couldn't help but grin. Her head was resting on his chest and she could hear his hearts beating. The way her warmth wrapped around him was more than he could bear._

" _Are you tired?"_

" _I could go for some sleep I suppose." He said in mid-yawn. The couple's eyes closed in unison and they slept contently. The TARDIS sang quietly as she saw a timeline chosen. This would not be the last late night visit from both the Doctor and Rose._

* * *

His eyes flicked over to her before looking back at the road. He caught sight of a stoplight turning red and slammed on the brakes, wincing apologetically. "Sorry." He mumbled before driving off. She groaned and then giggled.

"This is absolutely ridiculous, not only is the Doctor bloody awful at driving, but I somehow let him convince me to do this!" She laughed even harder. "We have an unstable relationship." They both bust out in a laugh that hurt their stomachs. She ran her hands over the cloth covering her eyes.

"What are you saying Miss Tyler? Do you want to break up with me? On our anniversary, how could you?" He said in a posh accent with mock horror. They laughed even harder. Once everything settled down and they were both sitting in the car it was silent. Rose had a question on her mind that she never thought she'd be asking. The blindfold was warm but not uncomfortable. Even so, her body flashed red hot.

"How similar is our DNA?" She asked quietly, so quietly he could've pretended not to hear and it wouldn't have raised questions. He took a deep breath, this had been coming a long time. He truly did want the slow life, especially with Rose Tyler, the most beautiful woman in all the universes. However there was a catch to their happiness. His headaches were only growing worse and he had no way of stopping them. He looked at his hands, wrapped over the steering wheel, he moved the right one over to her seat and grabber her hand. She was so warm, so alive.

"We're practically the same, the Time Lords and humans were always a little similar in their genetic build up. I've got the same amount of organs and bones and such as you. Well, maybe a couple million more white blood cells, which might be gold for me." He shook his head, he knew she wouldn't let him stall for long. "We can have children. They'd be incredibly smart, but they would be human. They could live normal lives, but a part of them would always long for the stars. They would most likely be miserable to the point of depression or worse." The words hung in the air and he heard her inhale, he turned to her and saw the slightly darker spot on the light blue blindfold. She was crying.

"I'm sorry." She said. He was appalled. This was his fault, how could she think anything different? But he knew her, she wouldn't blame him for anything. She would defend him until he died. Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth and the Doctor.

"You never apologize for this again. Don't you ever, I mean ever, take this out on yourself. It's a stupid genetic disposition! This is no one's fault." She hadn't seen him that angry since her life was in danger, since the TARDIS. Although technically she hadn't seen it, but she heard it and that was scary enough. You never question the Doctor when he has made up his mind, especially about Rose.

"It's not your fault either then. Always remember that it's not your fault. It's just a genetic thing and it will never change how I feel about you. I always have loved you and I always will. In this universe or the next, through all of time and space." His heart fluttered and any guilt that previously laid on his shoulders flew away. She was right, this wasn't his fault.

"And I love you, now let's go." She hadn't even realized that the car had stopped, but she undid her seatbelt and went to pull the blindfold off. His hands grabbed hers and pulled them to her sides. "Not quite yet." They climbed out of the car.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." She muttered and he shushed her. "Did you just shush me? You better not have just shushed me. If you did you bet-" She felt a hand cover her mouth and she was about to protest but she felt a shoulder hit her waist and suddenly she was upside down. He had her thrown over his shoulder fireman style and he barely batted an eye at the extra weight he was carrying.

"Put me down! Doctor you better put me down!" She was half yelling and half giggling uncontrollably. An older couple about 20 meters away chuckled lightly at the adorable couple.

"Enjoying the show? Rose the people are enjoying this, smile for the passing civilians." He began walking and she hit him lightly in the back and struggled against him. The couple broke out into a fit of laughter at the hilarious scene. A woman in a deep red dress and black tights with beautiful blonde hair was flipped over a man in a black suit with gelled hair. A blue blindfold covered her eyes as she swung at the man's back, he didn't even seem to have the slightest stress on carrying her. "I'll put you down if you promise to behave." He persuaded.

"I promise." She spat the words out and he flipped her back down to her feet. She ripped the blindfold off and tackled him to the ground.

"Oi watch the suit!" He quickly placed his hands over her eyes, "You aren't allowed to look yet and you broke your promise." He pulled out a spare blindfold, he hadn't trusted her to remain complacent. He quickly tied it around her eyes and picked her up again. Rose had been so busy in tackling him she hadn't noticed anything about where they were or what he was wearing. He carried her into a building and up enough stairs that Rose was worried for his back.

"I have legs."

"You don't have my trust." He replied with no strain on his voice, she swore he shouldn't be as strong as he was for being such a scrawny man. He kicked open a door and Rose felt the air pull at her hair. He set her down on her feet and stood directly in front of her. She put her hands on his chest and felt his heartbeat as he leaned down to kiss her. He wanted to show her how much he regretted not taking his chance before. She returned with just as much regret and passion. After about a full minute she pushed him back.

"Are we going to snog all night while I'm blindfolded or do we have actual plans, not that I'm complai-" He cut her off with one more kiss.

"Right, let's go." He untied the blindfold and she blinked a few times before really seeing the scene before her. There must have been a hundred Roses on the rooftop. A white table was at the top with some sort of food and what would appear to be champagne. The wind pulled her hair into her face and she knew she had been correct to dress up for this event when she spotted his suit. He was wearing a black suit and his hair was absolutely immaculate.

"Oh." It was all she could say.

"Do you like it?" He asked nervously.

"I love it." He grinned and pulled out a chair for her, a smile was evident on both of their faces. She knew that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. His eyes filled with love and he couldn't imagine a life without her, then the love was momentarily shrouded by a sharp pain in his head, but he shook it off. The evening was wonderful.


	3. Bad Wolves and Time Lords

Alright last chapter was kind of fluffy fro me but I'm back at it with destroying the Doctor and Rose's lives. Awesome! Leave a review. Also sorry that this took so long to write, but I needed to put in slightly more thoughtful dialogue to get this plot line to make sense. Soon I can get back to what you saw in the first chapter lol. Also Trigger warning, there is a flash to Jimmy Stone and he's... well he's an asshole

* * *

"Rose." He dragged out the 'o' before giggling and tripping, when she didn't respond he yelled. "Rose!" He saw the light flick on from underneath their bedroom door. Then he heard a scuffle as the door was pushed open and revealed her. Rose Tyler, he couldn't help but smile and move towards her, which led to him tripping onto his hands and knees. Rose shook her head at what she could only assume was a drunk Doctor.

"Are you alright?" She said, her voice was laced with annoyance. She had dated enough drunks in her life and would not be happy if that's how the Doctor ended up. However when he shot her a puppy dog look begging for forgiveness she cracked, this must just be a fluke. She walked forward and pulled him up before dragging him over to their room. She knew he shouldn't sleep in his suit so she wrestled him out of it. It took about two full minutes to get him out of his clothes and converse and into just a white shirt and his boxers. There was absolutely no chance she could get him into sweatpants so she gave up there and pushed him onto the bed, lightly. He chuckled.

"You've undressed me." He said in a flirtatious tone. "Now I'm just in my trousers." She couldn't help but laugh loudly while she attempted to pull the blanket over him. He rolled around on the bed and stole the entire blanket from Rose. She sighed and attempted to get some of it back. He flipped up and pounced on her, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. He was being foolish and she didn't have time for the rubbish.

"Just go to bed." The words came out harshly and he retreated to his side quickly, returning the covers. She immediately felt rude, he was just drunk. God knows he deserves to forget everything now and then, more than most. He felt terrible. The Doctor doesn't come home drunk to his Rose, the Doctor was supposed to help her. Now here he was being of absolutely no use, what if she had needed his help? He was so selfish, but he had just wanted the pain to go away, if only for a mo. It rang throughout his head nonstop now and he had realized that drinking tended to help more than acetaminophen. So he had begun to hide a flask in his suit. He would spike his tea, not enough to endanger people around him if he was sent on a mission, but enough to take a little of the pain away. Tonight had been an experiment of sorts, he wanted to know how much it would take for all the pain to go away. It had been a long night of drinking. By the time he felt no pain he had almost forgotten his name, that was when he decided it was time to go home.

"I'm sorry." He really wanted to be sorry. He wanted to force her to understand how miserable he felt all the time, he wanted her to know that if there was any other way he would do it without hesitation. He really wanted to be sorry, but he wasn't. She would never understand what he was going through. Rose didn't respond, instead she just rolled over. Her head was pounding and she didn't have time to deal with a drunken man when she was in pain and had work tomorrow.

* * *

Rose closed her eyes. She tried to force the pain into a deep abyss of her mind, but there seemed to be no way of doing so. She turned the file over in her hand before opening it up and reading the disturbing words

 _ **Classified Mission For Rose Marion Tyler**_

 _We have never intended this situation to get so out of hand. We are down to only one option. I hope you understand the reason behind our choice being you. There is no one else in this universe that can save us, you are the only person who has any sort of experience with these creatures. That is why, Rose Tyler we need you to embark on a mission with a very low chance of survival. If you refuse your memory will be wiped after we fire you, you will then be locked in an institution where you will stay until death. There is no other option for us or you. It is of my deepest regrets to tell you that only I, Jonah Tramblin, and you are aware of this mission. The rest of the staff is under the impression that we cleared The Silence in our previous raid, however we were unsuccessful. They have demanded some sort energy that was referred to as Artron. We have no way of receiving this and even if we did we do not believe that this is a material we should allow into their hands. Miss Tyler you are to take this mission alone. You will pack one bad immediately and meet me at the coffee shop that you and your Doctor frequent today at 5:00 pm. If you do not show I will take that as you refusing the mission and the pre-disclosed course of action will be taken. Upon arrival you will receive more in depth instruction on your task. The big picture is to reason with them. We want them to leave us in peace without firing a weapon, however if this is deemed impossible you will be required to destroy parts if not all of their population. Upon seeing them you will forget the moment you turn away. Bring a marker, pen and paper, you must also record your meetings with them. Due to limited connection you will have to meet in person with these creatures. I apologize for any negative outcome this mission takes. I apologize for this Rose Tyler, I hope to not have to explain to the Doctor that he will never know the circumstances behind your death. I hope this motivates you to stay alive as I'm sure you know he would be absolutely heartbroken if you didn't. I send you into this mission with a heart full of regret, please Miss Tyler, fight for your life. We have no way of defending you, this is all on your shoulders._

She placed the file back on her desk, there was no way out of this. If she didn't do it she would lose him and she wasn't sure if he could survive this world without her. If she did it and died he would have no way of knowing what was happening in those final moments of her life. There was only one way that this could go down. She was going to complete the mission and she was going to survive. She would fight tooth and nail, even if it meant losing parts of her. She knew the Doctor was fragile, but she had to leave him. She stood, grabbed her bag, and walked over to his desk and leaned on it with a cheeky look in her eyes. She used little flirts to hide her fear and the pain that shot through her head at a near-constant rate.

"How's my Doctor?" He suppressed a smile, it still always made him happy to be called her Doctor.

"Fine, and you?" He glanced at the bag in her hand, "Taking a half day?" His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"No, I'm supposed to go out on an emergency mission so I need to grab a bag, I might be gone for a couple days. I don't really have a choice." She looked down so he wouldn't be able to see the fear in her eyes. It didn't matter, he could hear it in her voice, the way it shook on the word 'choice,' something was wrong. He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Stay safe." She nodded, then winced at the pain. He pretended not to notice, a fight right before she left for a mission would make his time without her even more unbearable. He gave her a forced smile and ignored the pain building in his head. It never stopped. How could he let her go when he knew she was lying? She turned and walked away from his desk, the second she wasn't facing him the tears fell down her cheeks. How could she pretend that she would stay safe on a mission with the silence? She shook her head and walked out of the building, there were much more important things that she had to do now. She got into her car and pulled out of the Torchwood staff parking lot, trying to keep her hands from shaking. She drove over to the her beautiful blue house and she smiled at the sight of it. This was where she and her Doctor lived, together. It almost prided her that she had convinced him, the Doctor, to live the slow life with her. Then she remembered that she had pulled him away from the stars and the pride fell into grief. She got out of the car and ran into the house. Upon her entry she glanced over to a clock on the wall and read the time, 3:50 pm. That gave her fifty minutes to pack and fifteen minutes to walk to the shop. She walked over to her room and grabbed a black backpack. It almost looked like the one she had brought into school all of year nine. When they bought the backpack it was almost funny, they decided that they needed to go house shopping when they had been using paper plates more than once. It was the Doctor's idea to get backpacks for work missions and other possible adventures. She pushed away the memory of him riding in the cart covered in junk necessary for living like semi-average humans. However she couldn't help but laugh aloud when she remembered him refusing to get cups. He claimed that mugs were more multi-functional, and so there wasn't a single cup in their house. She began to stuff a few simple items of clothing into it with no idea how long she would be on this mission. She shrugged, you can never go wrong with something easy to hide in, she grabbed mostly black clothes. She looked at her 'work' outfit, so she wasn't the most classy, maybe she liked purple graphic tees. She threw a fitted gray hoodie over the purple shirt and switched out her shoes for laced up black boots that could pass as fancy and she could run like hell in.

"Doctor what have I gotten myself into?" Rose whispered and looked at the floor.

"I don't know, what have you gotten yourself into?" She dropped the bag onto the floor and inhaled sharply.

"How are you- No, why are you here? Doctor, how long have you been here?" She shot out questions at the speed of light. She looked down at his hands and saw the file, one tear was trailing down his left cheek. Every muscle in her body tensed up and she felt the artron flare in her veins. She was the reason behind his pain. She had caused this. Every part of her broke, the tears fell down her face and she choked on air and began to fall to the floor. He rushed forward and caught her right before she hit the ground.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay, we're going to be okay." He stroked her hair in some sort of attempt at comfort.

"I don't want to die alone." She lost all sense of control. "I'm not ready to die yet, certainly not alone." He could only hold her closer. For one of the first times in his long long life, he had absolutely nothing to say. He couldn't think of one damn word to try and help her.

"We could run. Same as we always do, we could run and never look back." He suggested. Her eyes widened. Could she leave behind everything?

"What about Tony, Jackie, Pete, our friends. No, I can't. I have to do this." Her voice was sound with the decision. He wouldn't be able to talk her out of it. She glanced at her watch again, it was 4:23 and she had no time to waste. She looked at him and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "It's all going to be okay." Her voice sounded like a recording, something being forced. Her movements were robotic and she sealed off her mind from all the pain and all the fear, for him. Her eyes glassed over and he knew that she was completely lost. He fell into her touch, hoping this wouldn't be his last time feeling it. He kissed her forehead and whispered quietly into her ear.

"Come home safe, my Badwolf, my Rose." She had sealed off her emotions but it wasn't airlocked. The words got through to her and she fought off the thought of never seeing him again. She ran her hand through his hair and he exhaled lightly, he didn't want to remember her like this; closed off, shut down, and suffering. He wanted to remember her grinning and happy and without a care in the world. He wanted to remember fish faces at the aquarium and picnics gone very wrong when it began to rain. He was so sick of everything he had ending in pain and blood. He wanted to remember that night on the roof. He wanted to see her again with a ring on her finger, with laugh lines cutting her cheeks, with gray hair. He wanted to see her again and now that might get taken away from him too. She stood up and grabbed her bag before she walked out the door. Words previously spoken by himself came to mind. _Rose Tyler, I love you._ He got up off the floor and walked over to the kitchen and began to pace all over the house. He walked into their room and saw her drawers a mess, he hated that they had scared her into this. He hated that they had threatened his beautiful, kind, caring Rose into something like this. Anger bubbled over and he lost it, he threw his fist into a wall and his hand went straight through it. He stormed into the kitchen with an incurable rage flashing through his entire body.

"This is what I get." He threw some glass bowl to the floor and it shattered into a hundred pieces. "My reward." He gripped the edge of the wooden counter top. "But it's not fair!" he shouted at the sky. Tears poured out of his eyes at a near constant rate. "But it's not fair." The words were quiet, each one inflicting their damage on his heart. The real Doctor wouldn't have let this happen, and this Doctor would never forgive himself if she got hurt because he was too weak. He looked at his hand as the blood flowed freely from the clenched fist onto the counter. It was already swelling and he knew what he had to do,he had to protect Rose. He didn't just have to protect her from Torchwood, he had to protect her from this universe as well. The headaches aren't just normal headaches, there was something changing who they were into these twisted versions of their previous selves. He had two tasks before the vortex did what it truly wanted. Number one: figure out what was causing the pain they both experienced on a daily basis. Number two: Marry Rose Tyler before it was too late.

Rose leaned against the door with her ear pressed against and she nodded solemnly in agreement. It wasn't fair. But neither was this world and he would have to learn that the hard way it appeared. She turned on her heel and walked down the road to the coffee shop. Thoughts and memories swarmed through her head at an alarming rate. She could only think of things to bring her strength right now.

" _How long are you going to stay with me?"_

" _Forever."_

If nothing else she needed some sort of comfort to calm down after the intense exchange between her and the Doctor. She was lost in her own little world when she realized she had arrived at the shop, it was 4:57. She walked in and ordered decaf green tea, a splash of milk and two sugars. She knew any caffeine would make her even more jittery than she was already. While waiting for her order, she noticed a man in a black suit looking at her from a dark booth in the back corner. She acknowledged him quickly and thanked the man as he handed her the tea and her change, she dropped the coins into a small cup labeled 'tips.' Her hands shook furiously as she forced herself to walk over to the man and sit down.

"Jonah, I presume." She refused to call him Mr. Tramblin, even if he did pay her salary. He gave her an amused and pitying look. She hated every aspect of this situation. He wore a black suit with thin white pinstripes. Only the third, fourth and fifth buttons of his coat were done which revealed a vest and dark gray button-down shirt. He had a black tie, slicked-back hair with one strand falling into his face and a clean shave. She couldn't believe how young and wealthy he looked. She expected some old guy in a sweater vest with an evil laugh to be sitting there, but here he was. A young man in an attractive suit with a look of regret and humility in his eyes.

"Miss Tyler." He voice was thick with obvious emotion, it was going to be very hard for her to be angry with a man who clearly didn't want to do this. "I believe chit-chat is not in our best interest. The situation is rather simple, we cleared most of The Silence in our first raid, however there is one nest of about ten or fifteen around twenty miles from here. We need you to go in and communicate with them." There was something off about his words, Rose couldn't place it but he seemed like he was hiding something from her. She knew something was wrong so she sent the Doctor a text underneath the table.

 _Something here is wrong_

Jonah didn't suspect a thing as he stood from the table and gestured out the window. Rose stood and followed him out of the shop, her hands trailed the wood siding and she looked at the ceiling lights. It was funny what facing death can do, things that meant nothing before could carry so much potential. The ceiling light was now the beautiful beam that carried an intangible sense of hope with it, Rose ignored the silly thought. Now was not a time to become sentimental, she wasn't going to die, not today at least. They were right next to what she assumed to be Jonah's car when her phone buzzed, she saw that her Doctor had replied and she checked it quickly.

 _Should I follow you?_

Something in her head warned her and she switched off her phone quickly, that was right before she heard a loud bang and felt a flash of intense pain. She was unconscious in seconds.

* * *

Rose Tyler was first aware of the pain. She didn't quite grasp anything around except for the pain. It gripped every atom of her existence and tore them apart mercilessly. It took the Bad Wolf and placed her under its command. She stretched her eyes open and quickly took in her surroundings. The room was white, she was on some sort of a table with metal cuffs ensuring that she remained there. She tugged on them to test their durability, it only took one try for her to realize that there was no chance they'd just break. There was a metal door to the right of her, it had some intricate looking lock system. The room was about twenty by twenty feet, a perfect square, with her right in the middle. It was something right out of a horror movie, minus the table of torture tools that should be right near the door for her to view. There was no obvious lighting in the room and yet it was bright. Rose scanned the room again and again looking for some way to get out, but there wasn't any. She twisted her hands, trying to pull them out of the metal cuffs when the door opened. It was a man. He stood about 180 centimeters tall and had light brown hair. His eyes were a sharp blue, like ice. If Rose had seen him on the street she would've gotten a bit frightened, and here he was standing in a doorway to the room she was being held captive in. He walked closer to her and she shivered.

"Who are you? Why am I here?" She demanded to know as he chuckled over her yelling. "Answer me! Why am I here?" He just laughed louder and she felt such fear rush into her veins she couldn't even hold her hands steady.

"My dear you are here for something very, very, very special. Would you like to guess?" She could hardly manage a neutral facial expression and settled for uneasy instead. He waited patiently as she refused to guess. She wouldn't play into his hands, she would wait for him. He leaned right into her ear and whispered quietly, "experimentation!" Her eyes widened. There were no aliens here, no monsters, this was just humanity. Humanity had done this to her and she hated every ounce of it. She threw her entire body into fighting against the restraints and screamed at the man. He screamed right back at her and she realized she wasn't accomplishing anything by acting this way.

"The Doctor will come. The oncoming storm will be here and he will end your pitiful excuse for an existence." Her voice held such a certainty that the man couldn't laugh the comment away. He turned his back to her, just for a moment. Then he shot her a look with those icy eyes.

"That may be true, but will he be here in time to save you? Because last I checked you've been here for six hours and the oncoming storm seems to be a drizzle in Russia." She couldn't show him any fear, she absolutely refused.

"He'll be here, you might have checked on him, but I think you missed my phone." His eyes widened, phones could be tracked so easy these days and he couldn't be caught. He ran out of the room and came back with her bag and a knife. He rustled through the bag, dumping its contents on the floor, before pulling out her phone. Upon flipping it open he saw his worst fear come true, a dozen or so messages and calls from the Doctor. The last one read very specifically for him it seemed.

 _I don't know who you are, but I know you have my Rose. You've also done an awful job of covering your tracks. If one hair on her head is harmed or one cell in her body is injured you hear this message now, I will end you. If you have done anything to her brain you pray to your God that it is reversible because there is nowhere you can run to. I'll be at your location in one hour._

He dropped it to the ground and smashed it, a foolish act as he knew it was too late. The text had been sent forty-five minutes ago. He screamed incoherent words at the ceiling before walking over to Rose.

"He'll never find me when he has to deal with this." Rose struggled against the restraints and yelled as loud as she could. He touched her head and his eyes shone with such a bright light, she was unconscious immediately as he destroyed and created havoc in her mind. He could hear her screaming in her mind, but he didn't care. He knew that this wouldn't distract him for long enough so he took the knife and dug it into her skin at her jawline. He watched the blood seep through the wound and he dragged the knife down to her chest. He threw the bloodied weapon onto the ground and fled the scene, just in time as the Doctor busted into the room not two minutes later.

" **Rose**! Rose! No, no, no, not like this. You are not dying today. Not today damnit! Who would do this? Who would hurt you?!" He screamed as he felt the agony in her mind. He ran around the room in some frantic look for a key before coming up with a course of action. He pulled out his phone and dialed 999. It rang three times and he was losing his patience by the time the operator answered the phone.

"This is 999 what is your emergency?" A calm voice said. The Doctor fumbled to come up with the correct words, he needed to give her just enough information but not too much.

"This is the Doctor, I'm at the abandoned hospital in Cheadle. The address is 100 Wimsill- wait no it's 100 Wilmslow Road. I need an ambulance, my friend has been severely injured. I can give you no more information as I am an undercover government employee. How fast can you get an ambulance here?" He spat out the words as fast as he could, angry at himself for forgetting the road. How could he forget the road of one of the most haunted places in Britain?

"We can get an ambulance there in under five minutes, one has been alerted. Sir why is that all the information you can give me? What branch of govern-" He flipped the phone closed, she didn't need to know, the second he flashed Torchwood credentials any questions would immediately halt, of that he was sure. Now he had five minutes to find the damn key. He left the room quickly, regretting every moment he was away from her, he searched each room that was in that wing. He finally came to a room that held some plans from the man and a silver key, he grabbed everything that looked out of place in the room and sprinted towards Rose's room. He shivered at the sight of her on the table but was brought back to focus by the sound of blood dripping to the floor. He unlocked the metal cuffs and picked her up with his left arm, trying to put some sort of pressure on the wound with his right. He spotted her bag and rolled his eyes, he knew she would give him hell if he left it so he snagged that too. He prayed that she would wake up and be able to get upset over having to get a new phone. He ran as fast as he could down two flights of stairs and out the front door, being almost immediately greeted by sirens and relief. Two men jumped out of an ambulance and started firing off questions faster than even the half Time Lord could process. They took her out of his arms and led the couple into the back of the ambulance. He didn't remember much of what happened next.

* * *

" _But your heart grows cold. The north wind blows and carries down the distant Rose."_

" _Oh, big mistake. Because that name keeps me fighting."_

* * *

She dragged her eyes open and was immediately aware of the drugs that had previously been holding them down. She blinked in some attempt to clear her foggy vision, then she could see him. Her Doctor.

"Bout time then, eh sleeping beauty?" He shot her a grin as she sat up slightly. "They said once you wake up you're set to go home. Do you want to go home? We've been here so long. I suppose you wouldn't know that, been asleep this whole time. Still, it's been so long. So long. I've missed you, and I was afraid that-" He looked at the floor and shook his head. "That you weren't going to wake up. The doctors said it was really up to you at this point, said you had to fight." She saw the pain in his eyes.

"How long have I been asleep?" She asked the man.

"Three weeks." He winced at the words and she sighed.

"Oh you bastard! You had me worried I'd been asleep for ten years or something! You're such a bloke!" She yelled and swatted him on the arm. He gave her a shocked look.

"Oi! It was a long time taking the slow route, you try standing over a bed for three weeks. Tell me how you like it then." She burst out into laughter and he couldn't hide his small smile. "Oh you humans." He muttered.

"Hate to be the one to say this but you're human too." He pouted. A nurse happened to walk in on this exact scene. The blonde woman who looked more radiant than she had imagined possible from the pale, sick girl she had seen for almost a month. The sad man in the pinstripes with a fake pout covering an obvious smile. The scene almost made her cry. She had never seen the man leave her side, not once. He had always looked so broken, devastated. She could only imagine what had happened to the woman when the government officials had marched in demanding answers from the man. She couldn't imagine what he had gone through over the past few weeks. She heard he had been the one to find her, break her free, and save her life. Now there the couple was, reunited and happy. The man leaned forward and kissed the blonde's forehead.

"Now, now don't go telling people that." He pointed at his head. "Still a bit Time Lord." The words meant nothing to the nurse, they must be an inside joke of sorts. She cleared her throat and walked up to Rose's bed.

"How are you feeling? Any pain around your stitches or head?" Rose's eyes widened as her memory of why she was here came rushing back. She looked at the Doctor with evident fear before blinking away the emotion.

"No, no I feel fine, thanks." She replied. The nurse didn't believe it, but she knew it wasn't her place to ask what had happened.

"Okay, we can get a doctor in to see when you'll be able to leave. How's that sound?" She said in her most nurturing voice, a talent that you really needed as a nurse.

"It sounds great!" Rose gave the woman blinding smile so that she wouldn't ask any more questions. She needed to talk to the Doctor alone, now. She knew that the man with the blue eyes had done something to her brain and she needed to know what. The pain in her mind when his eyes had flashed had been unimaginable. The equivalent of your brain being skinned alive and then set on fire. So where had that pain gone? What had he done to her? She gave the Doctor a look and he knew it was time. He had to tell her the truth. The nurse left the room.

"Tell me everything that you know. It's my brain and we are both in pain here, I deserve to know." He sighed at her words, he knew it wasn't fair to keep things from her.

"Everything is going to take a while." She rolled her eyes and gestured to the hospital bed. "Right, yeah.. Okay. Where to start? Let's see.. Oh, yes. So we came to this universe from the TARDIS and obviously we're both covered in Artron, but there's something else. The name for it is ancient, it's Gallifreyan. The name is **Frasheen**. Artron particles are this type of radiation, it is genuinely hard to detect, which would have been good, but we're not just covered in Artron. You see I'm fresh off a regeneration and you are the Bad Wolf, every universe has its stories of you. We both have this… glow I suppose, it's the **Frasheen**. I suppose the best way to describe it would be the actual strands of time, their very essence. When you came to this Earth the first time no one was looking for anything odd because nothing was happening, so no one noticed you glowing here on Earth. However we came here together right after stopping the end of the universe. The stars stopped going out and every living thing out there wanted to find out why, including the Time Vortex. Because our chain of events is locked in the Vortex of the other universe it didn't know. So it searched everything and everywhere, then it found us. That's why we have the headaches, the Time Vortex is trying to erase us. Rose- Rose I'm so sorry. I am so sorry, I've done this to you. I'm the reason you're going to die." He looked her in the eyes and she just nodded, she didn't cry, didn't accuse him of anything, she didn't even seem angry in the slightest. She just took the explanation and accepted that she was going to die.

"What about the man with the blue eyes?" She asked in a soft voice.

"What do you- Rose you're dying. We are dying, and it's all my fault. How can you just brush that off like it's nothing? Get angry at me! Hate me! Please!" The words were loud and full of regret, he hated himself. He hated what he had done to her. She had trusted him and he had killed her.

"How could I hate you? You had the same amount of knowledge that I did. No, I could never hate you. This isn't your fault. It's not your fault." He collapsed onto the bed and was right next to her, carefully avoiding her IV wire. She was the only person who could always forgive anything he had done. Even the most unforgivable thing, he was killing her and she didn't care. "So tell me what that man did to my head. Where did the pain go? Where did it come from?"

"He was some sort of high level telepathic species. He originally kidnapped you because he saw a slight telepathic advance in you over the other humans, which would be thanks to multiple things. You naturally were a low level telepath when I found you, it's very rare for your time but not impossible. Upon spending time in the TARDIS it was built up naturally, you also had a very strong connection with her so you could communicate better with her than anyone I've ever brought along. It was almost like you were constantly growing, gaining confidence with it and you didn't even know. I began to sense it more and more, I could tell that your telepathic senses were growing but I never thought it would be an issue. Then you looked into the vortex and you had all this power, obviously it wasn't going to leave you the same. Upon some other effects you grew to a medium level. Then you witnessed regenerations and all that energy was in the air, Rose I didn't mean for this to happen." He looked so ashamed.

"Didn't mean for what to happen?" He didn't answer. "Doctor!"

"Rose you're part Time Lord." She stopped. "Think about it Rose, think how close you and the TARDIS were. I haven't been seriously romantically involved with any other companions, think about why that is."

"So you're only involved with someone if they're part Time Lord? That seems a bit racist." She chuckled and he looked at her confused. "So what if I'm part Time Lord? All that means is you never have to be the last one of your kind." He was frozen, he had never thought of it that way. He would never be the last Time Lord again. The worst part was the full Time Lord in the other universe would never know. She should be with him and yet here she was, stranded on Earth, dragged away from the stars. He knew how much that had to hurt her. He knew how much it hurt him. He had only just found she was part Time Lord upon being forced to make a telepathic link, it had been terrifying and exciting and disturbing. He needed to tell her.

"I am not racist! It just… I don't know, it makes sense I suppose." She looked him right in the eyes and he knew he was through.

"Doctor what are you trying to hide from me?"

"Rose what he did to your brain, he just… he just tore everything apart. I needed to make a telepathic link to keep you alive." She searched through her brain and she knew he was right, she could feel his presence the same as she felt the TARDIS'. Then she felt the pain, it was back and she was about to scream but he shoved it back. He hid the pain from her.

"You're inside my head." Her eyes widened, she didn't want anyone else inside her head not after what that _thing_ had done to her. He sat up quickly and shook his head.

"No, no. Not after what happened, not without any sort of permission, of course not. I would never." The words came at her relief, her mind was safe. She knew that she didn't have to be afraid of him, but after the pain she had felt, it was better safe than sorry. "I set up a link, similar to the TARDIS, but I'm sure you could already see that. I tweaked it so I'm not getting your thoughts or feelings, I'm just blocking out the pain. That all I'm doing for now." Her eyebrows pulled together, brown eyes that usually shone were muddled with confusion.

"What do you mean by for now?" He could feel the pain trying to work through the defense he set up. A thick wall could only hold back water if it didn't have a single crack, and the Doctor was good, but he wasn't good enough to bet Rose on it. Anger seeped through his veins, every particle of his body was livid, he shook with anger.

"She never did anything wrong." He muttered under his breath.

"That's not going to work if I'm right next to you." She pointed out gently, while trying to somehow push him forward in his explanation.

"You never did anything wrong, you've always been so pure, so good. Yet here we are. Rose we need to rebuild your mind or else you'll die. I you want me to I can help do it, it will go faster but I'll be inside your mind. You will be able to hide inside of mind so that it won't hurt. I understand if you don't want me there, what happened was traumatizing and I won't be mad if you want to do this without me. Just know that alone it will be long and painful and so very difficult. Rose I'm so sorry, but you have to make a choice. You don't deserve this and I know that it's not fair, but there's no other way. I know apologizing won't fix anything, but I truly am sorry, more than you could possibly know."

"Well then, let's fix my brain." She had made her decision, if it was anything like the pain she had felt before then she wanted nothing to do with it. Besides, the worst thing the Doctor would find was Jimmy Stone, and maybe Christmas wouldn't be much of a surprise either. Although he would be very upset if he found out what really happened with the dimension hopping. He might just end up killing Pete Tyler over that, but she shoved the thought aside. It wasn't important. She always managed to surprise him and he gave her a small smile.

"You're sure?" She nodded. "Alright, it's going to take some time, but we have as much time off of work as we want. That's their way of apologizing for letting some strangers somehow get into the office to plant that file." She gave him a nervous smile.

"Will it hurt you? Fixing my head, and me being in yours I suppose that can't be fun either." She hadn't considered it until now, she didn't want that pain to go to the Doctor.

"No, it's your brain not mine. But you have to know that we won't be able to break the telepathic link after this. You can hide things from me and I can do the same, but just like the TARDIS you'll have some idea of the other's feelings." She bit her lip.

"Are you okay with being in my head?" She shot him the whiskey eyes, they were coated in fear.

"Rose Tyler I'd like nothing more." She giggled.

"Then I think my decision is made." They both shot each other huge grins, covering the fear and the pain.

* * *

" _Rose, where are you? Rose, did you make it?" The Doctor allowed hope to flick through his hearts. The blue light on the screen, it looked like she had done it, he was almost certain she had made it past the door. He would do anything to make sure she had done it._

" _Sorry, I was a bit slow." She was gasping. The words held him captive, she was going to die. She was going to die all alone. She saw the Dalek rounding the corner, she had to say something. If these were her last words then she wanted them to count._

" _See you, then, Doctor. It wasn't your fault. Remember that, okay? It wasn't your fault. And do you know what? I wouldn't have missed it for the world." Her voice was crackling through the phone. He couldn't answer, he wasn't strong enough. Of course she was, she had always been so human. She used her last breath to tell him it wasn't his fault even though it was. He could have waited, he told her he couldn't help her. One of the last things he told her was that she was on her own, and he had been the one that locked her in that room with the Dalek._

" _Exterminate!" He tried to pull the stupid device that was connected to her phone out of his ear, but he still heard the noise from the Dalek's gun as it shot the girl he had brought along. He fought the tears and the realization that she was gone for good._

" _I killed her." He had refused to help, he let her die. He let her die in that bunker, so far away from her home where she belonged._

" _I'm sorry." The words meant nothing. Anger replaced his guilt as he found a new target to blame._

" _I said I'd protect her. She was only here because of me, and you're sorry? I could've killed that Dalek in it's cell, but you stopped me." The guilt and the anger mixed and he was so confused. Who did he hate more, himself or Van Statten? He wasn't even sure at this point. He just knew that he wanted someone to pay for the life of Rose Tyler, the brave girl he loved so much._

" _It was the prize of my collection!" It made him even more livid. That was his defense? This puny man had killed his Rose and his excuse was a collection. Some stupid bunker where he hid away his toys like a dog hid a bone. He caused so much death today._

" _Your collection? But was it worth it? Worth all those men's deaths? Worth Rose? Let me tell you something, Van Statten. Mankind goes into space to explore, to be part of something greater." He was yelling, the accent only served to accentuate the anger. It hurt him just to say her name._

" _Exactly! I wanted to touch the stars!" This wasn't touching the stars, this was killing the ones who shone the brightest. Rose was a star, she was a supernova that had been time locked, and this worthless man flipped the switch and let her burn out._

" _You just want to drag the stars down and stick them underground, underneath tons of sand and dirt, and label them. You're about as far from the stars as you can get!" He yelled the words in the man's face. Then his face softened, the pathetic man had hidden Rose away too, hidden her underneath all the blood and the pain and the death. "And you took her down with you. She was nineteen years old." Van Statten had stolen the Doctor's supernova away from him, and there would be hell to pay for that crime._

* * *

He had strolled into her mind with the thought of assessing the damage and then dealing with the worst part first. He wanted to deal with all of her bad memories now, that way it would get easier and easier even if his head was hurting more. He began to run, he needed to find where ever she had hidden her terrible memories as fast as he could. So, naturally, he ran to the back corner. Why did everyone just assume that the back corner was the best hiding place? He went there and touched a memory, it was just a school day where she threw some paper at Mickey's head. Although it was very cute, he was looking for something more. He looked at her memories, all the glowing orbs. They had been thrown and torn and destroyed, he hated the thing that had dare done this to her brain. He looked up, this wasn't his first time in someone else's head.

"Give me the organizational system to the memories." He yelled out, feeling slightly stupid about not having done it earlier. Her voice came through crystal clear.

"Brightness reflects if the memory is good or bad, any memory that is completely black is forgotten. Mostly by age, youngest being farther back. Worst memories, besides Jimmy, are hidden here." The ground shook and opened up, a giant file stood up. He was awestruck, how had she managed to hide away the memories so tightly. The voice continued on. "Favorite memories are stored in bookshelf the most center. Memories of the Doctor that are blue, Memories of friends are red, family is purple. Memories of Jimmy Stone are here." A silver wall flipped completely around and revealed hundred of new orbs. Most of them held a dull gold shine. What had he done that was so awful? Why would she have locked away those memories so tightly? He walked over to the wall, pride flowed through his heart. She had a brain so complex, even after someone had ripped and torn at everything she held onto this magnificent system. This right here was why the humans were his favorite race. There were a few memories that seemed happy within the Jimmy Stone compartment, he touched the brightest one, it was almost the last orb on the shelf. They were sitting on a couch, drinking wine. Rose looked sixteen at the oldest, he looked about nineteen. Anger grabbed him, he knew that he shouldn't be snooping on her memories. They were laughing and he asked her to dance, they twirled and twirled across the floor of some crappy flat. She smiled, almost as wide as she did for the Doctor, at the man and laughed. Then the memory cut off abruptly. He was lost, why would it end so quickly? Usually memories trailed off a little and you pushed it away from your mind, but this one had cut him out. He touched the memory right next to him, it barely held any shine. It was the exact same scene, she stepped on his foot and apologized quickly.

" _I'm sorry." He took a step back and shook his head at her. Then a sharp knock came from the door and he ran over to their room of the flat. His demeanor of carefree and happy changed in an instant. His eyes shone with a dark pain, a sickness. He returned quickly with a wad of cash and a bag full of something that the Doctor couldn't recognize. Rose's thoughts answered his question, it was cocaine. He put the cash and the drugs in his back pocket and pulled something out of his waistband. That was a gun. What was Rose doing with this man and his drugs and his gun? He opened the door and put the gun right up against a man's head._

" _I'm just here for the shit man. No need to flash your metal." He put his hand into his front pocket slowly to show a big stack of cash. Jimmy grabbed it and stuffed the bag into the other man's arms. Then he shoved the man out into the hallway._

" _Get the hell out of here." He slammed the door in the man's face and it would appear that his good mood was ruined when he turned to Rose. She looked at the floor and fear pumped in her veins. "Now where were we? Oh, that's right. We were nowhere, because it would appear that you can't do anything right." The words cut her to the bone and he stormed into the kitchen. She didn't know why he sold if it just made him miserable. It only took about thirty seconds for her to hear him banging around the cabinets for something stronger, she heard him pour a glass. Then there was a moment of almost silence, a heavy breath, and more liquid splashing into a cup. He stormed out and downed half the glass then shoved it in her face._

" _I'm good Jimmy. Maybe we should just call it a night." She offered lamely. He shoved the drink in her face while pushing her on the shoulders. She fell back onto the floor and her head smacked into the wall. When she managed to pull her head away from it there was blood and a sizable hole. He tended to forget how strong he was when he had too much to drink. "I think I'm gonna go to my mum's, you're drunk and not thinking clear." She tried to reason with him, but he just got even more angry. Her vision flipped and her words were slurred, but somehow she was the rational one. He grabbed her arm and dragged her up to his eyes level. She could smell the liquor on his breath. She knew it was her fault for letting him drink and get into this mess._

" _You aren't going anywhere Rosie." She struggled against him in some vain attempt to run. He pushed her against a wall and leaned right into her face. "I suppose if you really hate me that much you're free to leave, but you can't come back. Remember that, you're losing the best thing that ever happened to your pathetic life." He squeezed her arm even tighter and dragged her over to their room. He half threw her onto the floor, she could feel the bruise beginning to form. He grabbed her duffle bag and started grabbing anything that was hers. He ripped a few items of clothing in his fury, throwing her stuff left and right. When he was satisfied he walked into the dumpy bathroom and grabbed her small shower bag and two items of makeup, both dollar store brands. He put everything into the small duffel and threw it at her head. The pain snapped through her entire body as blood soaked into the sheets on the bed. He grabbed her hair with his right hand, the bag with his left and began dragging her out the door._

" _Get out! Just get the hell out!" By the time he got her out the door he kicked her, twice in the ribs and once in the face. The noises he caused were sickening. Rose barely managed to call 999 by the time she passed out._

" _I'm Rose and uh- oh well I don't really know. I think- no I know. There's blood, it's sort of… everywhere? Can you help me." She heard a door from within the flat slam and fear shook her. "I'm so very afraid. Please." Her vision faded and she was dead to the world._

The Doctor blinked the remainders of her memory away. Why hadn't she told him about this? They were the Doctor and Rose, they told each other everything. And yet, here he was, only finding out what that bastard had done because he needed to fix her brain. He dropped to the floor and screamed. Why hadn't she told him? Why? He took a moment to think of the pain he had caused her and vowed to ask her about it, but right now he had a job to do. He took the Jimmy Stone memories and went through them all. It was agonizing to see the things he had done over the time they were together. He pushed all the memories into their correct places and they all shone brightly before returning to their original glow. In real time it had only taken about an hour, but for him and Rose it was closer to two weeks. He needed something to relax him from what he had seen of her past. He went over to one of her favorite memories and touched it lightly. He was transported into another different place and time. He spent an hour inside of the memory. She was so beautiful here, vibrant you could say. Snow stuck to her hair and he chased her through it. This had been on a planet they traveled to long after it was abandoned. He held on to the sound of her carefree laugh. He loved her, but he hadn't heard her so free since before the headaches. He missed this. He missed when he wasn't the reason she was dying. He missed when times were simpler. Which is kind of shocking considering the TARDIS and time travel weren't as strange as this version of the slow path. Although, he supposed that their 'slow path' was going to end very soon. He pulled out of the memory and was about to wake them up when one of the memories that had been pitch black rose to the center of her mind. It began to glow and glow, brighter than anything he had ever seen.

* * *

Rose had been locked away in the Doctor's mind, he shut the door so she wouldn't be able to feel anything. She was allowed to do whatever she wanted, the Doctor even encouraged her to take a stroll down his memory lane, but it didn't feel right. He had told her that this would take a lot of time, he said if they worked for two hours every day for a month then it would be finished. But time in the mind was different, each hour would be about a month. She knew that her curiosity would drive her insane if she was here all that time alone. Besides, he had said that it was alright so there was no harm in looking. She waited in there for over two weeks without action, merely observing the glowing orbs. She found it strange that in reality the two of them were unconscious on their bed and yet here she was, awake and making her own decisions inside a mind that wasn't her own. Telepathy was strange. She began looking around his mind, glancing at memories. There had to be some type of organization system in here. The memories were these groups of light, they were stunning, some of them shone in different colors and at different vibrancies. Her boredom got the best of her and she began touching the orbs. She discovered that one side of the billions of memories was knowledge. Something like the year that the Theeds reclaimed their homeland. _18267 in Earth years, yet 563 Theedish rotations around this other planet called Rananthel._ She was stunned, that was his voice. His voice was answering the questions, oh this could be fun. The side of knowledge was left and the side of his own memories were on the right. She touched one of the memory orbs and saw it flash in front of her eyes.

 _The snow fell all around the ginger haired woman as she stood in her wedding dress. She looked so lost in the world. He couldn't help but regret everything she had seen that night. Usually he loved showing people the stars, tonight was so different._

" _That friend of yours, what was her name?" He was frozen, the snow and wind pulling at his hair. His eyes barely started to water and the memories came flying back._

" _Her name was Rose." His voice carried so much pain and emotion, he ducked into the TARDIS quickly and shoved all thoughts out of his head. He walked over to the console and slammed his fist onto it, allowing the tears to pour out of his eyes. He reached into some locked little box of the console and pulled out a bottle, he didn't even read the label. He just drank it all._

Rose felt her thoughts shoot backwards and found herself tripping inside his head. I guess she was still a klutz, telepathic or not. But he had suffered, so much. She had felt the pain. No, pain wasn't the right word, the agony. She had felt it so strongly. Would he be able to find her memories of them being apart? The thought scared her, he wouldn't like what he would find. She thought of all the terrible things that had happened. She had given him a sum up of what happened, but if her memories are kept similar to this she was done for. She touched more and more orbs, trying to find out how they were organized. There were different sections for each face he had, she found one she recognized. Not the man with the thick accent and not the puppy-eyed Doctor. She didn't know how she knew him she just… did. She went through as many of those memories as she could, all of them were awful.

" **No more"** It was a scream inside his mind as she touched a memory that flashed her to a new world. She saw.. Well she wasn't quite sure what she saw. She could've sworn it was, but no it couldn't be. How could she have met one of his previous regenerations? She saw herself standing next to her Doctor and he didn't even see her. This memory was different though, this memory didn't shine. It had been her reason for touching it, all the other memories had shined, even the ones mostly forgotten and dimmed still held a distinct glow. It dawned on her, the Doctor didn't know this existed. She sank to the floor and held the small orb, sobbing. She had been there, with him, and he would never know. She had done everything she could to protect him and all he saw was an interface. No, that was no interface, that was the Bad Wolf. The memory came rushing back to her and her eyes began to glow, the first stop she made when the Daleks were attacking had not been to her Doctor. She had seen what she needed to do in the time streams, she had gone into her closet and changed herself, just enough so that it wouldn't trigger his memory when he saw her again. She had been there, in Gallifrey, and she had saved them. She was crying and the golden glow streamed out of her eyes, her mind began to scream in pain as all of her memories as Bad Wolf came back. She was transported back into her own mind and she saw the Doctor staring at the memory returning to her. She reached out to it and the orb dropped into her hand.

"I want you safe, my Doctor." His eyes widened, she couldn't remember that. Not unless- no, it couldn't be. If she remember her time as the Bad Would it would kill her. Her eyes flashed bright gold and from them the energy reached out and began to replace every single orb in the enormous space. It carried them all into their proper space and her mind went from a darkened, destroyed area to a beautiful place. Everything was silver and gold. Different coloured in her mind glowed as her memories shone. Her eyes were getting brighter and brighter, the Doctor didn't know what to do. He was afraid. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He had never seen something so agonizingly beautiful. But he knew how much pain she was in to be doing this.

"I command you to leave! For your own safety, Doctor I'm sorry." he felt himself being shoved out of her mind. His own eyes opened, the eyes to his body and fear grasped his human heart.

"Rose!"

* * *

I owe you even more apologies because this took forever to write and it's a shorter chapter. Also I sort of was planning on finishing this storyline in one chapter, but somehow it got away from me. By the next chapter you should find out why the metacrisis dies like i showed in the first chapter… I hope XD


End file.
